Wednesday, 28 October 2009


Recently (for the last 3 weeks) I’ve being going out with ‘Mr. T’ (just him) and I thought that it was going quite well considering the bad beginning we had. I knew that he had some insecurity issues but I hoped that we could work something out, meaning that if he saw that I liked him he might overcome some issues he had.

The truth is that I did like him and wanted to get to know him more. However, the whole jealousy and insecurity issue was getting a bit ridiculous. Before judging me, let me say that I know that everybody’s insecure and need from time to time some reassurance and confidence boost. I am of course one of them. However, I believe that there is a line not to cross, especially at the beginning of a new relationship...

I’ve known ‘Mr. T’ the last month and a half. I know that he has weight issues (according to him), meaning that he is a bit overweight but is doing everything he can to get back in shape. I’ve told him that I don’t care and since he’s been going to the gym 5 times per week, he’ll reach his goal in no time. Me reassuring him is not enough. He’s been having insecurity crises regularly as well.

When I was in Greece I let him know that I arrived safely and what I was doing that day with my brother and friends. He replied that he is happy for that, but his plans for the weekend is hiding his hideous self from the outside world since he is too ugly and fat to leave his apartment (ouch). I tried to make him feel better (again) and told him that I find him very sweet, kind and cute and that he shouldn’t be thinking like that. I added that he has to try to like and love himself. It’s not easy, but worthwhile.
Even Whitney Houston believes that this is the Greatest Love of all. She must know something more:His reply to that was that he feels like an emotional, insecure and defeatist wreck (his words) and needs some time to find himself and that I should be patient. To his question about whether I could be patient I couldn’t and didn’t reply. I know that each relationship has its ups and downs and needs time and effort. However, I can’t even say that we are in a relationship since we are still beginning to know each other! I don’t think that I should be feeling like having to try that hard to make this work. We are having way too many issues and it is still too early for that (there are some other things I really cannot disclose at the moment).
I might be too idealist but I believe that I should be feeling more in love at the moment and not struggling!

While being in Greece I stopped contacting him that often and when I got back I told him that I am back and tried to express my fears and doubts. I didn’t tell him to stop seeing each other but I sent him a text (it took me more than an hour to write) about my feelings of fears and doubt. I sincerely wanted to discuss it with him and maybe feel reassured that my efforts are not going to waste. His reply was that he understands where I’m coming from, that he really has too many issues to deal with and that the best course of action is to stop seeing each other!
I felt really sad because he gave up (again) too easily. Maybe he’s feeling guilty of the pressure he was putting on me and wanted to end it quickly. However, I have the feeling that deep down inside he believes that he doesn’t deserve to be loved and cared for and in a way likes being dumped and sorry for himself. He likes being a drama queen and like a proper masochist secretly enjoys suffering. I will probably never know.

My question (ok – in plural) is this: Did I do wrong by sending him the text telling him how I feel? I know that I should have confronted him in person but I couldn’t wait till the next weekend when we would meet again. Did I give up too easily? Should I have tried more?

And most important of all: Should I text him to see if he’s OK?

(ok, I take that back – I shouldn’t text him. I can’t be the one to help him overcome our ‘breaking up’. But I’m human and I still care for him and I should see how he is, right? No, I should be firm and stand for my decision… argh… I need help)

Tuesday, 27 October 2009

My weekend away (part 2)

After the end of the show in ‘Dolls’ we were ready to go partying some more so we headed to one of the trendiest (and also gayest) areas of Athens, ‘Gazi’. We went straight to Sodade which is (apparently) the place to go clubbing. I had heard that it was nice but I wasn’t ready for what I faced. It was brilliant!

There were two stages (not very big). The first one was playing more dancing pop songs remixed and the second was playing slightly more hardcore dance / trance / house high bit music. I’ve always been confusing the dancing categories so I do apologise if these terms are not the correct ones. The fact is that 85% (or more) of the crowd was dancing their feet off. When we arrived there, it was already around 3:30am (after the change of time) and the place was packed (in Greece people go out late). I’ve been going out a lot in London and I forgot how crowded a club can be in Greece since there is no respect for the regulations about the amount of people allowed in a club (dangerous but true).

I had a really amazing time there: good looking people, nice music, drinks. I was in heaven! What else is there to ask for? The only thing that kind of annoyed me was the smoke. The majority of people there were smoking (yes, there is a new Law that bans smoking indoors bars / clubs in Greece since July) and I’m not used to that anymore. We left the club around 6:30 in the morning and it was still very crowded. I was told that it’s like that almost every day, even in weekdays and I really recommend it to everybody that wants to go and dance while being in the capital.

The rest of my day in Athens was uneventful. I flew back to London in the evening and tried to get ready for the busy coming week. I loved though my night out in the capital...

Monday, 26 October 2009

My weekend away (part 1)

I just got back from a long weekend away in Athens! I had to go to a wedding on Saturday night and I’m so glad I did. Even if you go away for a small period of time, just the change of surroundings can be so uplifting and refreshing.

The wedding itself was nice, not something way too enjoyable but a little bit boring (as expected). I was a guest from the bride’s side. I know her sister very well (and was invited by her) but I’ve met the bride only a few times. I think that she’s a very lovely person but I don’t know her that well to feel too attached to the event and that happy for her. I’m happy that I was invited and that I attended the event, anyway…

The highlight of my visit to Athens though was the night out that followed the wedding!

Let’s start from the beginning though: In Athens I stayed at one of my oldest and dearest friends. I know her for more than a dozen of years now (I am sorry to count). I don’t know if I can use the term ‘fag hag’ but she’s the one that I’ve been dragging to gay places with me (unfortunately she’s not the only one being ‘tortured’ like that) for some years.

Lately, she met some people that know some people (isn’t that always the case?) and we were invited to a bar in Athens in one of the not-so-nice areas (the red district). The name of the bar can be translated as ‘Dolls’ (‘Κούκλες’) and it’s one of the oldest drag-queen bars in the country. I’m not that accustomed to the scene and it was quite an experience going there, especially being in Greece.

More than a half of the clientele were transvestites and I do believe that the vast majority was regular customers (everybody knew everyone). From the outside the bar looked like one of the places I would never go inside (old, dirty and of course windowless). However the inside was, let’s say, extravagant. The decoration theme can be described as ‘sparkling’ and ‘fluffy’. There were way too many pink fluffy pillows, fake diamonds and disco balls. Most girls were higher and bigger than me, that made them look a bit intimidating (I knew that I could never win in a fight) but very friendly and pleasant.

We met ‘Hope’ that was working by day in the Ministry of Health and was a part time prostitute by night (I didn’t ask too many questions – the less information you know sometimes, the better it is). We also met ‘Anna’, the bartender that apparently liked us, treated us a couple of tequila shots and told us that we should get together at some point to have dinner together (I later found out that she’s running a brothel as well).

At some point the show started and it was wonderful! There were 5 girls performing. We saw great artists like ‘Abba’ (of course), ‘Amy Winehouse’, ‘Liza Minelli’, ‘Shakira, ‘Lady Gaga’ etc. The most fun was when they were performing older Greek singers. The imitation of the movements and styles were absolutely amazing. It was so much fun! You could see that most of the costumes were handmade and the effort they put to create them, even if not perfect. It was a bit fake glamorous and decadent but in a very cute kind of way.

Overall, at ‘Dolls’ I had an amazing time. We didn’t stay long and we left after the end of the show to go dancing (story yet to follow). That was the closest I’ve ever been to this part of an underground (mostly illegal and dangerous) world of people that live their lives only during the night, acquiring different names and living by different rules. Some aspects of this life make me feel very sad and I really do believe that this glimpse I got is enough for me. However, I cannot but feel admiration for this kind of people that live their lives liberated from conventional society rules and express themselves in the way that they want to.

Thursday, 22 October 2009

The runner’s world is full of surprises

I don’t actually consider myself a proper runner since I’ve been running for just some months. Comparing me with people that actually finished some proper runs is a joke. However, I think that I am slowly (and painfully) getting there.

There are so many things you have to consider and do before, while or after running!

Since you put your body under constant strain for a long period of time (even for hours) you have to watch every little detail that might cause problems.
One of the very basic lessons you (have to) learn is about shoes! Their importance is amazing (no wonder). Unfortunately, there are so many types and brands that choosing the correct one can be quite difficult. Unfortunately, even after buying them, you are not done. You still have to be careful about things like the type of shocks you wear.

Lately (this Sunday), I learned about the importance of lacing (I actually had to, it wasn’t my choice). We’ve decided to do a longer than a 10 mile run for the very first time. I tried to do everything right about that run. I went to bed early the day before, chose my clothes carefully, had my banana in the morning etc.
I decided to tie my laces tightly so that I would not get blisters (disgusting image not added due to censorship). That was a lesson I learned quite early as well. However, I think that I overdid it. I must have tied my shoes way too tight. That of course made the upper part of my feet hurt and I was in pain probably after the 6th mile.

I managed to finish my run normally (woo hoo). It was the longest run I’ve even did (so far). My feet however hurt like hell for the next couple days. It wasn’t my legs (sore muscles) that were causing me pain (I was feeling that as well but not as bad). It was the upper part of my feet.

After, doing some internet search I came across this wonderful lady who is teaching me how to tie my laces so that I will (probably) not have the same problem again. It’s like being with my dad, aged 5 (can’t remember exactly), trying to learn how to tie my shoe laces. You just learn something new almost every day…

Tuesday, 20 October 2009

Mr. Busy!!!

The past week has been amazingly busy. I have been doing one thing after the next, without being able to sit and relax. I am not complaining though, I am really enjoying myself. I just don’t like sitting idle not doing something…

Around 7 months ago, I had to move from my then house since my house mate was leaving London and of course I couldn’t afford a two bedroom flat on my own. I tried to see my options and I decided to give a try to finding a nice (?) house share around the area I work. I knew that it would be much cheaper than renting on my own and I thought that it would be fun.

So, I found a nice big double bedroom with two other professionals in a two bathroom house. The house was located in a walking distance from work, cheaper than the one I had before and equipped with a weekly cleaner as well. It seemed too good to be true, so I moved in.

I don’t exactly know how other house shares work, but ours cannot be described as very functional. One of the girls living with me (who actually looked normal) moved out the second month I was there and was replaced by a foreign student, who wanted to learn English during his gap year. However, he only hangs around with people from his own country, literally hates London and I don’t think he learned any new English words apart from the very basic (unless he’s hiding them from me). I’ve only been able to chat with his cousin / translator who told me how my foreign housemate hates London.

My other housemate is doing a post doc in a very good university nearby. She can be described a bit uptight, unsociable and hostile. She also doesn’t like London and misses her country / village! I tried having some kind of conversations with her but at no use. Her life is around her studies and laboratory experiments. As far as I understood they keep and breed mice, implant viruses in them and check the results. I totally respect what she does (I could NEVER do this kind of work) but it’s not a very nice subject to talk about having dinner in the kitchen. Ok, I’m probably overreacting, who wouldn’t like to hear about how to slice open a HIV positive mouse to check the side effects of a new drug over a plate of spaghetti?

Anyway, these things wouldn’t really be a major issue, (I don’t stay home much and I seldom see my housemates anyway) if my lovely landlady wasn’t added to the equation. Since she probably doesn’t have a life, she loves to pry on ours. She keeps a key of the house and uses it amazingly often. I know she’s been inside my room many times. The house we live in is part of her daily walking route and she comes very often to check her mail etc (and us of course). She is one of these nonstop talkers and gossipers.

Also, she loves to complain about her dreadful financial situation (she ONLY has two houses that she rents). It was a major issue when my ‘wife’ was staying over. She wanted me to pay more rent for that. In addition, since all bills are included in my rent, there is the constant issue of how much water I spent, how much electricity, etc…

I know that probably these things are common in house shares but I am getting too old probably to deal with them. I want to be able to bring ‘friends’ that stay over at night, without having to hide them.

After all these, I don’t think you’d wonder why I chose to move out and live with a very close and dear friend of mine in the same area. So, at the moment I’m viewing properties and will be moving in the next month. That takes most of my free time. I can feel the side effects on my aching legs as well. It can be really fun though… It’s back to packing boxes

Thursday, 15 October 2009

OK, I did it… (or will do it)

I was talking to a friend of mine about running (again) (I think I might be getting monotonous). He did the London Marathon last year and he suggested I tried it. He said that he wasn’t THAT fit before entering and that he tried and managed to train for it in time. He said that it was one of the best days of his life, the day he finished it. He commented that you just need to be disciplined and since you register you cannot but accept the fact you’re doing it and get motivated.

Unfortunately that event is closed, at least for the charities I wanted to run for (If you have to do it, you have to do it right). I then checked other marathon runs around UK, or even nearby countries. It is a new but very dear dream of mine to do London, Paris and New York marathons. (Yeah, sure… Let me finish one first). I’m still able to register for the Paris marathon, but after checking the Route Map we actually chickened out (me and ‘gb’ who shares similar weird running marathon dreams – you see? I’m not the only one). The area you have to cover is huge!!! Of course I knew that before but it’s a reality check to see the Map itself. Don’t judge me!

So, I slightly changed the plan and decided to do a half marathon first to boost my confidence a bit and train for the whole marathon afterwards. As a result, I registered today to do my first half marathon in Bath in March 2010 for Cancer Research UK! I’m pretty happy about my decision and I hope that everything will go smoothly! If I do that half marathon OK(ish) there is another half marathon in October and after that I’ll be ready to do my first marathon the following spring (no?).
At least that’s the plan… I hope to stick to it…

Wednesday, 14 October 2009

Some me time…

I had a really nice time yesterday going to the movies. I saw ‘Up’ which is quite enjoyable in a bitter-sweet kind of way. At some cases it can be moving and at others it can be really funny. Overall, I think that it is a movie to go and watch to spend some really enjoyable time out. The interaction between the characters is very interesting, although it can be predictable at time. I didn’t see the 3-D version which probably should be much more interesting. Probably it’s not as good as ‘Finding Nemo’ or ‘Wall-E’ but very enjoyable nevertheless:

Monday, 12 October 2009

Another one bites the dust…

I have this song stuck into my head and I cannot get it out. I will probably keep on singing in my head, until I finish this post!

I had my very first spin class on Saturday morning that my personal trainer just started giving. It was quite nice. Although at the end, I could with difficulty keep myself in an upright position on the bicycle. According to my trainer though, we did a tough session, since the rest of the class was quite experienced. He might have said that just to keep me going though (he needs the class as popular as possible). I’ve decided to give it at least another try. I might be hiding some masochistic tendencies. Who knows?

After that, I met ‘Mr. T’ as arranged. The weather was very nice and we had a very nice walk along Thames that day. We also sat at a very nice spot to enjoy coffee and lunch. We ended up at his place to order Chinese takeaway and watch X-factor. He’s a fan, but it was the first time that I ever had to watch so much of it (I don’t have a TV set in my place anyway). I felt quite comfortable staying there and thankfully he didn’t mind having small chats now and then while the program was running.

Overall I had a really nice time and I ended up spending my whole weekend with him. We chatted a bit about us. He agreed that we are still in a getting-to-know-each-other place so we should take it slow and see what happens. I wanted to make that point because I get the feeling that he wants to rush things that a bit freaks me out. We had that fight two weeks ago and I am still a bit hesitant of the whole situation and what to expect.

My friend ‘gb’ describes a type of people as octopuses. These people tend to rely too much on their significant other and live and breathe through their relationships. They are in general too jealous and demanding from the beginning. That is why they jump into the next relationship way too soon and fast. He believes that ‘Mr. T’, being a bit insecure and introvert, is one of them. For some, this kind of relationships is good, because they need that extreme feeling of belonging and they can thrive in it. For me (and ‘gb’), this kind of relationships make me feel suffocated and struggling for freedom. I need some ‘me’ time and I need some time with friends as well, without my boyfriend around all the time. I don’t like being asked all the time where I was and with whom. I can get a bit jealous myself and I even like if someone is a bit jealous of me. However, there should be a silver lining and a limit to all this and not let any situation get out of hand.

So, I was a bit suspicious of ‘Mr. T’ and was trying to see whether he falls into this category. I know that I shouldn’t be judgmental, but I couldn’t help it. If we didn’t have this argument before, I wouldn’t probably do it. He did complain a bit about me booking my Christmas holidays because he’s going to be all alone and stuck in London. And he also mentioned that he saw in his dream that my family came to visit us (we were living together) and were proud of my choice of being with him!

Both stories totally freaked me out! He said that he was kidding about the first one and agreed (with some difficulty) that we might not even be in speaking terms until then and that it’s a bit too soon to make holiday plans together (we’ve only met three times)! I couldn’t really tell whether he was joking or not. However, I could see that he would very much like us to be together until then and spend our holidays together.
I managed to justify the dream story because of the talk we had before going to sleep (not going to bed, going to sleep – different things). We chatted a lot about my family that evening and I even called some of its members in his presence because of some recent events.

On the other hand, two things happened that work in favor of ‘Mr. T’. I mentioned going out to a gathering of gay people the day before we met for a certain event and also ‘gb’ accidentally called me at 4:30 in the morning of Sunday waking us up. In both occasions, he didn’t seem bothered or jealous. He even seemed a bit interested in the event itself and asked me a couple of things about it (not if I met someone etc).

Maybe, I’m over analyzing everything when I shouldn’t. Maybe I’m trying to find this octopus when it doesn’t exist. ‘Mr. T’ is nice, caring, interesting and cute and I would love to see him again. He also knows how to cook (always a plus). Maybe I need to see what's bringing us together instead of what separates us. Maybe I need a slap in the face to stop pondering / worrying…

Friday, 9 October 2009

Second chances

I’ve always believed in second chances. I believe that there are occasions where a weakness gets the better of you and you make mistakes. However, there are mistakes and mistakes. Some of them can easily forgiven, some of them still hurt…

When I recall what happened with ‘L,’ even 5 months later, I get a weird feeling in my gut. The words we’ve exchanged and the way things ended were so bad. It wasn’t just a fight that could be forgiven and forgotten. These were probably some of the worse days of my life. I was pushed to my limits and without enough good reason. Now, of course we don’t speak to each other and I don’t think we ever will. That is not particular me, meaning that I don’t fight often with people and keep a grudge. However, this is something that will not probably change.

‘Mr.T’ on the other hand, is different. He let his insecurities and fears get the worse of him and felt threatened of allowing me in his life. He even refused getting to know me more. We had met only once and his spasmodic reaction was a bit bad and also hurtful. I know that and I let him know that as well. When he suggested meeting though and maybe giving it another chance I agreed. I felt that he was going through a tough time at that time and I excused his reaction. I believe that a second chance should be given to us at least to get to know each other…

I know that I might regret it. I fear that he might become insecure again and extremely jealous. I think that I can see small signs of these things already happening (or is it just me?).
Can I truly turn blank page and start fresh without the fear that he might snap again and push me away? Will I see the signs in time and save myself from being suffocated from such a relationship?

Am I simply overreacting? We still don’t even know each other. We’ve met only 2 times (the second time briefly), even if we’ve spent a lot of time talking and exchanging emails. He is kind, caring, and cute and sex is great. Maybe I should concentrate more on these facts. I have a small voice in my head trying to tell me to relax, give it a chance and enjoy it and another telling me to get away as much as I can before it’s too late. Am I losing it?

Wednesday, 7 October 2009

7 of Meme

After Sean and Kelly, I thought of contributing too:

7 Things That Scare Me

1. Snakes
2. Gangs
3. The Alzheimer disease
4. Speeding (most of the times)
5. Dentists
6. Earthquakes
7. Losing one of my five senses (or are there six?)

7 Things I Like

1. Sex (I’ll just state that once generally)
2. Enjoying dinner with friends
3. Books
4. Theatre
5. Running
6. Watching people in Arrivals
7. Travelling

7 Things I Hate

1. Living away from my family
2. Can’t afford some things I want (not exactly need)
3. Confrontation
4. Asking for money (that unfortunately includes asking for a pay rise)
5. Being dependant on people I don’t actually like (my boss)
6. Cleaning up someone else’s mess (friends excluded)
7. People blowing smoke to my face

7 Things In My Room

1. Bed
2. Alarm clock
3. Plants
4. Books
5. Bedside table lamp
6. Dreamcatcher (that someone suggested looked like a weird cock ring)
7. Sheesha Pipe (for decorative reasons)

7 Things About Me

1. I got into a fight once at primary school. I managed to make my opponent cry of frustration and flee because I was not returning his punches (I completely blacked out)
2. I’ve been reading comic books since I was 9 years old
3. I’ve been totally scared of coming out to my family. I managed to do it some moths ago and of course never regretted it
4. I am a sergeant of the Greek Military (doesn’t say much – really) with the speciality of being a lorry driver or a book keeper of things kept in warehouses!
5. I love my close friends to bits
6. I’ve never broken a bone or had stitches (knock on wood)
7. I can’t stand idle for too long…

7 Things To Do Before I Die

1. Get married
2. Get an animal(s) (dog or cat)
3. Learn a 4th foreign language
4. Travel to the Caribbean islands
5. Run a marathon
6. Do some more volunteer work
7. Move out of the flat to a proper house that I own

7 Things I Can Do

1. Move my ears
2. Multitask
3. Be disciplined
4. Play tennis
5. Cook (I haven’t food poisoned anyone and I get some good feedback)
6. Solve computer related problems (or at least know where to look)
7. Play chess / backgammon / checkers

7 Things I Can’t Do

1. Blink one of my eyes
2. Speak easily in front of a crowd
3. Improve my accent in French
4. Be bored of sex
5. Whistle loudly
6. Make bubble gums (I really don't know why)
7. Enjoy watching Cricket

7 Favorite Movies

1. Star wars (old trilogy)
2. Lord of the Rings
3. Fifth Element
4. Love Actually
5. Steel Magnolias
6. Amelie
7. Nightmare before Christmas

7 Things I Say Often

1. It’s doable
2. Anyway…
3. Sure
4. When? I'm in
5. Come on, let's go
6. What's for dinner?
7. Hello

Dating… (I wonder why?)

When you go on a date there are some things that you look for. I have a friend that will only go out with someone that has facial hair. He is into big hairy guys. I have another friend that like men that have that young, baby-face, kind of look. He is instantly put off if he sees some hair popping out of someone’s v-neck. Apart from that, there is the option of the blondes, the dark haired, the Asian, the Latinos, etc… It’s all about someone’s taste.

Luckily enough in a place like London, there are all sorts of people and ways to find them. There are the bars that the trendy young people go, bars that the ‘bears’ go, bars for the ‘musclebears’ etc… However, apart from the looks, very important is the character (unless you’re looking for casual sex and not a boyfriend). I was thinking about the laws of attractions after I went on a date yesterday.

When I go on dates, I try to find people, not exclusively extremely good looking, but who have something promising regarding their personality. Do not get me wrong. Of course I go out with people that I find attractive, but I try at least to talk to them before going out to see what they are like. I generally enjoy these people with whom you can have an easy, floating conversation. I also like people that put some effort and while exchanging messages online they reply with more than a single sentence, a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’. That is why I sometimes love having an argument (always civilized) with someone, just for the sake of it in a fun, kidding way. That is also why I often play the devil’s advocate, even if I don’t agree with it. I just love being mentally challenged.

That is exactly what did not happen on my date. He was in his mid thirties, sweet and educated. However, I found him to be extremely boring. I had to struggle to get a conversation going. OK, I admit I am not the most exciting or interesting person alive. I haven’t climbed Mount Everest, did sky diving (yet), went backpacking across Latin America or visited the North Pole (you know what I mean). However, I do have an opinion (good or bad) on some matters. I have some interests (like comic books, maps, books, theatre, travelling) that I can get passionate and discuss about. After spending an hour and half with him, I didn’t have a clue about his.

The only thing I totally understood was that he was so anxious to get into a relationship and find his one true love! He told me how he broke up with his ex of 7 years (not a very hot topic on a first date) some years ago. How they weren’t in love (ever) but he was his first lover and was used to living with him (they came together to live in London).

He also advised me against some men that you chat online because they might be telling you lies (I pretended to be very shocked when I heard that) and pretend they are in love with you! From what I understood, my date started chatting online with a guy, let’s call him the ‘liar’, first through messages and then on the phone. The ‘liar’ pretended to be in love with my date and they ended up talking for hours. The ‘liar’ at some point admitted that he doesn’t live in London but in Nigeria.

He said that he left UK to work for a while in Nigeria, but got fired and needed money to get back to London, to see his true love (my date). So, he asked money from him (at this point I was truly shocked because I feared for the rest of the story) and my date obliged! I was not told the details, but apparently my date gave him a couple of times, a reasonable amount of money, each time!!!! It was after some time that my date (FINALLY!!!) understood that he was played for a sucker, would never see his love and that he was probably one of many getting ripped like that (and it’s not like he comes from a wealthy family to support him)!

So, as you can see why, that date did not go that well! I do not know what saddens me most. In general, he is a good guy (definitely not for me) but I really fear for him. I don’t know how he’ll manage to survive. Maybe I am being very cynical and he is one of the few remaining romantics. However, I think that after a while, you develop some life experience that makes your skin a bit thicker! I also wonder about my date’s friends. I am pretty sure that even if in the extreme case I fell for something like that, my friends would have been there to stop or control me… No?

Monday, 5 October 2009

I’ve been very naughty!!!

OK, I’ve been naughty. I took my sexual experiences a little bit too far this weekend, but I really did enjoy it and of course I do not feel bad about it…

I’ve recently started talking with an old boyfriend of mine, the ‘Brazilian’. He’s a nice guy and we had our fun in bed, but we weren’t very compatible outside of it. We separated our ways after a couple of months of dating. A couple of weeks ago, we started talking again. We went clubbing together in XXL and we had fun. We have decided that nothing serious would come out of this. To be honest I also wanted to expand my circle of gay friends and I know that the ‘Brazilian’ is very well connected.

Last week, I chatted with the ‘Brazilian’ about going out on Friday and he suggested going to one of his mate’s birthday gathering. His mate is Greek and I wanted to get to know him, so I agreed. We also agreed that I would spend the night at his place after the party.

The gathering took place in a very nice gay pub. By the time we arrived there, most of the people were tipsy already and moving to the rhythm provided by the dj. It didn’t take us long to catch up with the drinks. I met some really interesting people (I didn’t know anyone), some of which I would like to meet again and get to know more. I was having fun, kept on drinking and making small talk with some folks.

After a while, I was mostly chatting with a really cute guy (exactly my type), the ‘teacher’. We were talking about general things like work, living arrangements, place of origins etc. We were slightly flirting as well. After the pints turned into vodka, the flirting bit got a little bit too serious, with the ‘Brazilian’ also taking part in it. We ended up group hugging right in front of the bar (I’m not really proud of that bit – sorry if you were there to watch it) and hmmm, let’s say touching each other underneath clothes (I blame the drinks from Russia)…

After a while, the three of us decided upon leaving and going to the ‘Brazilian’s place which was closer. That is when the real fun began! It was my first time being with two guys at the same time and I have to say it’s a really nice experience. I’m generally kind of shy (really), not being dating guys for long and never had the chance before, but I’ve been curious about it for a long time. For some this might sound like old news, but it me it was something. I also blame Mike’s blogs that I've been reading recently about it as well (I’m kidding) for making me even more curious.

Let’s say we didn’t sleep much that night. After a while, when the side effects of drinking were gone I had even more fun. It’s like watching live porn and taking part in it. There are times you don’t know who’s doing what and whose body member is whose.

I loved the fact that it happened gradually and normally. It wasn’t prearranged or talked about online to cause me any kind of stress or nervousness. I was also feeling quite safe since I knew the ‘Brazilian’.

The only problem I found was the sleeping bit. After some hours of fun, we were dead tired and wanted to get some sleep. Three people of our size could just not fit! I don’t know how the others did it and dozed off quickly, I was left there, looking at the ceiling, not being able to move an inch. I’m sorry but I need my space when I go to bed. At the beginning I twist and turn a bit to find my position. That procedure gets even more difficult in a strange, unfamiliar bed. I need space and I don’t want people touching me much. I feel trapped since I don’t want to wake them up by moving so I get a bit frustrated. That’s what happened that day as well.

So, I decided to get up, get dressed and go. I don’t think that was very polite and I probably missed some morning action, but I couldn’t just stay there. I kissed them both goodbye, told them I had early arrangements (kind of true) and left.

The whole experience was very nice, left all happy the next day (even if tired) and I recommend to people that haven’t tried. After telling my friend ‘gb’ the next day, I was left with the question. Does a threesome count as an orgy or not?

Thursday, 1 October 2009

On a school night…

Yesterday it was pay day for my company. This fact by itself is a reason to celebrate! September’s been quite long to be frank with the aftermath of me coming out to my parents, coming back from summer vacation, ‘D’ leaving London after spending a nice summer together, ‘Mr. T’ entering and exiting my life and the trip to Glasgow

So, in order to celebrate that fact, yours truly, ‘gb’ and another colleague / drinking buddy, we headed to ‘Be @ 1’, a nice local cocktail bar. It was happy hour, meaning that for each cocktail you ordered, you were offered a second one for free (purely bliss)!

Because we don’t know any better, we decided to go for three rounds of cocktails, since it’s just a school night and we should call it a night early. However, every single round meant two cocktails each and of course based on a different alcoholic beverage. So, we ended up having a round of a rum based cocktail, then vodka based and finally tequila based! All well really, really nice!

I believe that mentioning their effect on us is not considered necessary… We had lots of fun though…

We ended our night in the local pub for dinner (we so needed to eat something after that) and a couple of pints…

I think that I have all this alcohol still running through my veins. On top of that, tonight is gym day with ‘gb’ and our personal trainer! That would be so much fun!!!! I already think that today’s session will not go THAT well…
I wonder why…