Various news…

I went out with ‘JJ’ yesterday and we saw the ‘Clash of the Titans 3D’. The movie as expected was blunt with good visual effects but not really interesting story, acting or directing. I don’t think that it’s a movie that you’ll remember for long… Even the fact that Sam Worthington is in it doesn’t make that much of a change!

I talked to ‘JJ’ about the ‘Brazilian’ and that I was feeling kind of sad about it. His first reaction was ‘well, he can’t have you’ in an as-a-matter-of-fact way that made me laugh. I’ve decided not to go to the goodbye party not to stir things more. I don’t want to create any more problems to him than he already has.

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In a very different matter, I don’t know if you’ve heard but you might be hiding a small pedophile in you as well if you’re gay. Apparently, according to Catholic Church there has been proven a connection between homosexuality and pedophilia. I rest my case…

That reminded me, are gay men still not allowed to donate blood in the UK? I think that was the case up until some years ago. I have no comments on that as well

Losing friends…

I have mentioned ‘The Brazilian’ in the past but not as much as I would like. He’s the guy I was dating for about two months around Christmas of 2008.

I don’t know where to begin to tell that story but I’ll try.
He is a very nice guy. We got along really well from the beginning. Our first date was in Vauxhall, in Barcode, and we talked about various things for a couple of hours. He is a pleasant, smiling, caring and very interested in various geeky things like manga and video games guy. That gave us some common ground to talk about and share. That first date ended with me going to his place afterwards where we had some really nice fun… (Back then, I didn’t have a problem sleeping with someone on a first date, now I am slightly more reluctant – I am probably getting old)

I was quite happy to receive a text message from him the next day saying that he had a very nice time the day before and that he’d like to see me again. So, we did meet again and that whole thing progressively evolved into seeing each other more frequently and forming a relationship.

The ‘Brazilian’ was the first guy I started seeing in a more serious way. As I’ve explained in the past, I hadn’t been dating much (to be honest, while being in Greece I only ever dated one guy) before coming to London and I wasn’t probably ready yet for a relationship. Up until that time I only had some fuck buddies. I needed space and time to get used to being with someone in a relationship. The ‘Brazilian’ being in a total different state in his life and without having a big circle of friends was coming onto me too strong too fast.

This is how I see it now. Back then I remember feeling suffocated, under pressure, in need to be left alone and do other things that did not involve him. That frustration of course didn’t come out too well to him (I wonder why). I started wanting not to spend any time with him outside the bedroom (we had fun there but that wasn’t enough) so the end of our relationship was near. I went away for New Year’s and he came to pick me up from the airport when I returned. I remember seeing him in the ‘Arrivals’ and not feeling very excited about seeing him (it was a surprise). He sensed that, although he did try to hide it. Some days later he broke up with me (I feel ashamed to admit that I didn’t have the guts to do it on my own) telling me that he could see that it wasn’t going anywhere.

I have to give it to him though. The way that he handled the whole situation was very admirable.

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Some months later he contacted me again and suggested meeting. I hadn’t tried contacting him before since I was feeling guilty of being the bad guy in the situation. Even before actually meeting, he told me that he was coming out from another relationship, was in the middle of doing many changes in his life, was feeling stronger and happier than ever and wanted us to go for a pint as buddies. I didn’t see anything wrong with that, so we went out.

What he had told me was true. I could tell that he was in a happier place. He managed to get rid of some extra weight that he wanted to, making him look much nicer, and also acquired a lot of new friends. He now had a few places where he was frequently going out, getting to know all the ‘regulars’ and really enjoying himself.

After that first time we met, we went out lots of times. We went clubbing, dancing, drinking and I met some of his friends who seemed really nice people that I’d like to get to know more. He had hinted about going and staying over at his place for some ‘fun’, but nothing more. I thought that he was just being his usual horny self (he’s Brazilian after all) and I politely declined almost all of the times. I only recently slept with him (before meeting ‘JJ’) during that night of passion when I shared the ‘Brazilian’ with another guy. We became good friends that even if we didn’t meet very frequently, we had a good connection.

Unfortunately, the ‘Brazilian’ needs a green card to stay in the UK and they declined his latest application for renewal. That meant that he can’t stay any longer here. He tried to arrange a white civil partnership with one of his mates to get residency, but that was declined as well. His plan now is to go to Brazil for a while, get married there and come back as a UK resident. I don’t know how much that will take though. So, unfortunately, the ‘Brazilian’ is leaving…

I’m quite gutted about that.
His friends are organizing a surprise goodbye party. I’ve accepted the invitation for that event and I also wanted to take part in the arrangements / gift purchasing etc. That party will take place this weekend.

I sent him a text yesterday to go for a pint. I hadn’t seen him for a while, even before I went away for Easter, and I felt bad about it for not standing by him at this difficult time. His reply was a very long message in facebook.

I’m not going to go too much into detail.
He told me that he thinks I’m a great guy and that he is still in love with me. That the last time we went out, since we were just the two of us, made him realize how strongly he felt for me still. However, he knows how happy I am with ‘JJ’, so now seeing me makes him feel heartbroken and sad. He was sure that he wouldn’t like to see me again at the moment and that he needs time. Maybe, when he comes back from Brazil…

I was shocked. OK, I suspected that he might still like me, but not that much, to actually not want to see me again. I was of course flattered but the fact. I can be kind of slow (or insecure) sometimes and I don’t normally see when people are flirting with me.
However I am mostly sad that I will not get to see him before he leaves. I contacted his best mate in facebook to ask him and it was confirmed that it would be better if I don’t go to the surprise goodbye party…

Two days to go…

Ok, is that bad?
I’m counting the days to my holiday.

Anyway, I don’t want to upset all the hard working people out there so I will stop…

OK, once more… 2 days to go…

I can’t help it…


Anyway, the happy news of the day is about Ricky Martin. You must have heard it, so I’m not going to talk about it…


What I’d like to comment more is a discussion I had with ‘big M’s girlfriend on Saturday night. It took place in a bar, right before going to the club. We were quite tipsy by then, I must add…
She: ‘big M’ is quite happy that you and ‘gb’ came along tonight. It showed him that you are more than just colleagues.
Me: Well, we got along really well from the beginning. We did spent some really nice nights out in the past as well
She: Don’t remind me. I can still remember that I was feeling a bit weird about the night that ‘big M’ spent at gb’s.
(after going out and getting drunk)
‘Gb’: What?
She: Well, I know that he spent the night over at yours and it’s the first time he’s actually spending time with gay people. I couldn’t but feel a little threatened! Don’t get me wrong. At first I thought that ‘gb’ would be a threat because he is always ‘out there’ speaking about sex and making dirty jokes (yes, gb can be like that). Then, I met you Nik and I realized that probably ‘big M’ is exactly your type.
‘gb’: Yes, Nik likes his men big and hairy.
Me: Don’t listen to him. I’d never do anything like that.
She: Well, I just couldn’t help myself... I can’t help feeling insecure sometimes.

To be totally honest I find big M to be quite hot. He’s tall, hairy, muscled with green eyes. He’s also doing a triathlon for charity later this year. However, he’s a mate (and straight and in a happy relationship). I’d never do anything like that. I’ve never made a pass on someone in a relationship (that I knew about). I also don’t think I have never made a pass on a real friend, gay or straight.

OK, I had a crush (or two) on a straight friend in the past but I never did anything about it. Maybe it’s the unattainable feature that can be so appealing. Maybe it’s the fact that it’s a gay fantasy to seduce a previously straight guy. (How straight can he be if he’s seduced?) It worries me slightly that ‘big M’ girlfriend thought that I was a threat to her. Maybe it was more obvious to her, probably from my body language that I liked him.


I don’t know if it’s just me, but after I get into the ‘friendship’ zone I can’t easily go back. If something has to happen with someone, it has to happen in the beginning of our acquaintance. OK, I have friends that I’ve slept with, like the Brazilian, but that’s just an unsuccessful relationship. We tried it and it didn’t work out. We’re good friends now but it didn’t start like that.

That is the reason that I’ve never slept with ‘gb’ and I’ll probably never will. Many of our common friends have commented about it, asking how we can be good friends and nothing more ever happened. Maybe it’s a gay thing that friends after a while, during a drunken session do sleep together. Funnily enough, ‘big M’ even placed a bet on us. He believed that we would sleep together in the next month or so (he lost the bet). He still owes us dinner and drinks for that.

However, even if I do believe that an amazing relationship can evolve from a good friendship, it’s very difficult to happen though and it never happened to me.

I’ve been very naughty!!!

OK, I’ve been naughty. I took my sexual experiences a little bit too far this weekend, but I really did enjoy it and of course I do not feel bad about it…

I’ve recently started talking with an old boyfriend of mine, the ‘Brazilian’. He’s a nice guy and we had our fun in bed, but we weren’t very compatible outside of it. We separated our ways after a couple of months of dating. A couple of weeks ago, we started talking again. We went clubbing together in XXL and we had fun. We have decided that nothing serious would come out of this. To be honest I also wanted to expand my circle of gay friends and I know that the ‘Brazilian’ is very well connected.

Last week, I chatted with the ‘Brazilian’ about going out on Friday and he suggested going to one of his mate’s birthday gathering. His mate is Greek and I wanted to get to know him, so I agreed. We also agreed that I would spend the night at his place after the party.

The gathering took place in a very nice gay pub. By the time we arrived there, most of the people were tipsy already and moving to the rhythm provided by the dj. It didn’t take us long to catch up with the drinks. I met some really interesting people (I didn’t know anyone), some of which I would like to meet again and get to know more. I was having fun, kept on drinking and making small talk with some folks.

After a while, I was mostly chatting with a really cute guy (exactly my type), the ‘teacher’. We were talking about general things like work, living arrangements, place of origins etc. We were slightly flirting as well. After the pints turned into vodka, the flirting bit got a little bit too serious, with the ‘Brazilian’ also taking part in it. We ended up group hugging right in front of the bar (I’m not really proud of that bit – sorry if you were there to watch it) and hmmm, let’s say touching each other underneath clothes (I blame the drinks from Russia)…

After a while, the three of us decided upon leaving and going to the ‘Brazilian’s place which was closer. That is when the real fun began! It was my first time being with two guys at the same time and I have to say it’s a really nice experience. I’m generally kind of shy (really), not being dating guys for long and never had the chance before, but I’ve been curious about it for a long time. For some this might sound like old news, but it me it was something. I also blame Mike’s blogs that I've been reading recently about it as well (I’m kidding) for making me even more curious.

Let’s say we didn’t sleep much that night. After a while, when the side effects of drinking were gone I had even more fun. It’s like watching live porn and taking part in it. There are times you don’t know who’s doing what and whose body member is whose.

I loved the fact that it happened gradually and normally. It wasn’t prearranged or talked about online to cause me any kind of stress or nervousness. I was also feeling quite safe since I knew the ‘Brazilian’.

The only problem I found was the sleeping bit. After some hours of fun, we were dead tired and wanted to get some sleep. Three people of our size could just not fit! I don’t know how the others did it and dozed off quickly, I was left there, looking at the ceiling, not being able to move an inch. I’m sorry but I need my space when I go to bed. At the beginning I twist and turn a bit to find my position. That procedure gets even more difficult in a strange, unfamiliar bed. I need space and I don’t want people touching me much. I feel trapped since I don’t want to wake them up by moving so I get a bit frustrated. That’s what happened that day as well.

So, I decided to get up, get dressed and go. I don’t think that was very polite and I probably missed some morning action, but I couldn’t just stay there. I kissed them both goodbye, told them I had early arrangements (kind of true) and left.

The whole experience was very nice, left all happy the next day (even if tired) and I recommend to people that haven’t tried. After telling my friend ‘gb’ the next day, I was left with the question. Does a threesome count as an orgy or not?