Manual Labour

I believe that each person has specific talents. Some people are better in certain things than others. And I’m OK with it. I’ve grown to know my strengths and my weaknesses. I’m not saying that through practice and hard work, you can’t improve. It’s just that some people might have a better starting point. I learnt this lesson around the age of 13. By that time I had been playing tennis for a couple of years. I had training sessions two to three times a week. So, upon starting high school, my newly acquired best friend Spyros decided to join me. Two weeks into training Spyros was playing much better than me. He could aim and strike easily, doing things that took me months to learn and even then I couldn’t always accomplish.

That same tennis childhood lesson was reminded to me last weekend. I had planned some DIY with JJ. We had to dig a trench in our front garden, since Monday we would be getting reconnected to the national gas grid. Digging the trench ourselves got us a £500 discount for the connection. That’s enough money to make us do it. The ditch had to be around 3.5 meters long, 30 meters deep and around a foot wide. It runs from the front gate to the entrance door, right next to the footpath. In paper it sounded easy enough.

Woman Digging - Pissarro

However, 20 minutes in, I was reminded how crap I am in manual work. I didn’t mind the rain or the wind. I didn’t mind spending my Saturday morning working in the mud. However, I found that my upper body just seemed to lack the strength needed to dig using a shovel. To be fair, last time I touched a shovel was a decade ago while I was in the army. And I know for a fact from my gym sessions that my biceps are generally not that strong. For some weird reason my triceps are much better.

happy helper

To be fair, I wasn’t totally useless. I was just not strong enough to shove deep enough in the soil to take out lots of dirt at a time. JJ was much better. He could take out the same amount of dirt in less than a third of time. I was doing 3 scoops (is that the right word?), he was doing 1. So, he ended up doing most of the shovelling. But apart from sulking a bit over feeling useless, I was able to help in other ways. I made the coffees and carried buckets of dirt and water. I cut roots and removed unwanted plants. I cleaned tools and provided moral support. These are as important things, rights?

Final result. We will fix the path at some point.

I just like to think that this is what makes us a great team. We have different strengths and weaknesses. He is much better at working with his hands and I’m better at working with my mind (I’d love to think). He’s the really cute one, I’m the… erm… I’ll get back to you on that.

DIY, moving and anniversary day

The last couple of weeks have passed in a bit of a blur. We got the keys to our property on the 12th of November and we wanted to make it ready before we moved in. That meant we had 2 weeks to really work hard on it before the weekend of the 30th, which was move-in day!

The tenants of the place weren't the cleanest people I met. On top of that, they had a baby, a bird, a cat and a dog! All these animals (apart from the baby) did wonders to the light coloured carpets of the first floor. We’re talking about serious filth. The moment you entered the hallway, the stink would hit you like a slap to your face. There was so much dog hair everywhere! And we couldn't have that. So, we begun the process of removing the carpets to restore the original wooden floors and also paint the bedrooms.

The before picture with carpet and yellow wallpaper and skirting boards

The second before picture. So much dirt... 

Removing the carpets 

 That's me happily (?!) sanding the floors

The first weekend we spent it removing the old carpets and their joints. We needed to cut them up in manageable rolls and remove the carpets’ under layer. Also, we needed to remove all nails and staples that held everything in place. Because the weekend after that we rented sanding machines to sand the floors and they needed to be clean from everything that might damage the sanding paper. We had never used machines like that. There was a learning curve to it, but I believe we did well. There are so many good DIY websites and YouTube videos to check. Finally, we applied the varnish.

Finish sanding the floors and removing the wallpapers

First layer of varnish and undercoat on the walls

While doing all that, we spent as much time as we had around work hours to paint the rooms and pack our stuff. We removed wallpapers, sanded walls, applied undercoats and paint. And then, finally, the last weekend arrived. I had Friday off and Jeff had rented a van. His company provides him days off to move anyway. So, we did lots of trips back and forth. We had some friends helping us in various stuff, like assemble IKEA furniture or bring food and it went more or less fine. We didn’t break anything!!! I count that as a success.

The second bedroom after we finished it.

So, yesterday, I travelled for the first time from our new place to work. It felt great! We still haven’t completely finished the third bedroom and there are boxes all over the place, but we have all the time in the world to sort things out!

In addition, yesterday was the day of our first mortgage payment AND my anniversary with JJ! I met him exactly 4 years ago in a bookstore that is now a METRO bank (boo) in Fulham Broadway! My life has changed for the better in so many ways since then! I love him to bits. This journey, which I think has just begun, is something amazing that I will treasure!
I’m just so happy!!!!

It’s my liefie's birthday soon!

Liefie (Afrikaans):  love. That is what it is supposed to mean according to ‘JJ’. I hope he’s not feeding me bullshit and it means something completely different or dirty! lol..

Anyway, it’s his birthday soon, on Monday!! I know this post comes a bit early, but to be honest, I have so many things to do in the meantime, that I fear I might miss the chance to post on my blog how much I love him and wish him happy birthday!

On Table Mountain in Cape Town

You see, we’re flying really early on Tuesday morning to Greece. So, we don’t have lots of things planned for Monday to celebrate. I’ll be at work till the afternoon and we’ll just meet some friends for dinner in the evening. Going to Greece for a couple of weeks is a nice way to celebrate anyway, no? Bear in mind that while he was growing up in the South Hemisphere, his birthday was in the middle of the cold winter and I think during school break. So, this will be a nice change. I’ll try to find something nice to do there as well.

It’s not that bad for him anyway. Last year we celebrated his birthday in Sardinia and the year before I organised a catamaran day cruise around Santorini. I can’t really remember what we did the year before, but I think it was as nice. No, no. I’m not complaining. My birthdays have been as nice.

In Torquay last year

As I was saying, we’re flying on Tuesday morning, Monday we have the dinner and during the weekend we have pintar rapido. I think I might have mentioned it before. It’s a Spanish art movement as far as I know. Artists will visit the Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea on Saturday and paint something from the area. They’re supposed to start and finish that day, in a specific time period. Then, on Sunday there will be an exhibition of the works, an award ceremony and then an auction of the rest of the pieces. The weather is supposed to be very good, so I hope it will be a nice day out for us. JJ will be painting and I will be there helping (or reading my book or working on my tan).

So, Happy Birthday my liefie! I hope you have a great day / week / month / year! I love you so much. I'm so happy I have you in my life.

The most hated word in the industry

Working in the IT industry, I know that there is something whispered on the higher floors of a company, that the low level minions should not hear. And that thing is ‘outsourcing’. By that term I don’t mean only hiring one or more contractors to finish a project or help someone’s job. I’m talking about the phenomenon of uprooting a whole team or department and replacing them with cheaper labour in a distant country.  

This trend is not of course something new. I can remember from my early school years, living in the northern part of Greece, small industries moving to the other side of the borders, to Bulgaria, saving millions of that old forgotten (?) currency. I heard conversations after conversations about the bloody taxes imposed by the government that pushed small companies away to a country just a few kilometres away, where labour was cheaper and taxes were lower.

The company I work for at the moment has its headquarters in the UK. There are of course local offices in various corners of the Earth, including the South and South East Asia, which are popular destinations for outsourced IT departments. There are minor helpdesk departments in these offices, but till now they weren’t responsible for anything major. However, there is a new discussion going on in London, about how the non-profitable IT department should improve effectiveness but cut costs at the same time! I really love it when managers and directors become all poetic like that and announce these major ideas!

Anyway, there is a storm brewing. A colleague of mine has already been sent to investigate how and if the company can set up an office of developers somewhere at the Indochinese Peninsula to save some money from hiring developers in the UK. This prospect is scary, since lots of the people I work with will no longer be needed and their cheaper replacements will be easily found. I’m not sure if my position is threatened. I’d like to believe that ‘not yet’. I’m not a full time developer per say. I work in a special division, close to the decision makers of the company here. So, hopefully, I’ll be alright for a year or two? However, there is that can of worms that now opened and the future is unpredictable.

I’m not going to leave you on a pessimistic tone though. It’s Friday after all and I’d like to change the subject and the tone of this post. A few days ago, I had my anniversary with my beloved boyfriend!!! We’ve celebrated three years of happily being together and a bit more of a year of living together! I can’t believe it’s been three years already! Time flies when you’re having fun. He’s my partner in crime, my rock in the storm and best friend. Love you so much ‘JJ’.

Back from South Africa Part 3...

The last part of our journey was back in Cape Town, for the last few days of our holidays, before travelling back to London. We were a bit tired from all the miles we had done and ‘JJ’ wasn’t feeling amazingly well, so we decided to take it a bit slow(er). He either got a virus somewhere along the way, or something bit him causing him to feel unwell. We visited a doctor the following morning, just to be safe. He prescribed some heavy antibiotics that generally did the job. So, we were ready to go again.

I found it so strange posing with Christmas decoration 

while wearing shorts and t-shirts

That same day, JJ’s parents had their wedding anniversary. So, we decided to spend parts of the day together. We got onto one of those ‘hop on/ hop off’ buses that travel you around the city with an automated guided tour. I believe this to be a very nice and not tiring way to visit a town, perfect for his parents and a slightly sick JJ. We didn’t have to worry about traffic nor parking. We simply sat down; listened to the guide and saw the sights of the city. Later on, we had lunch in the amazing V&A Waterfront, where we did some shopping as well. That day ended with us, JJ’s brother and parents having dinner, in a local, very nice fish restaurant.

At a local market in central Cape Town 

Clifton Beach 

The following day was dedicated to visiting Stellenbosch and Frankshoek. These are villages right outside Cape Town, famous for their wine. There are massive wine yards and farms where a visitor can taste amazing good quality wine with local deli products. We had lunch at a farm in Frankshoek with some of ‘JJ’s old friends from school. The quality of the food there was amazing and the wine outstanding. We stayed in the farm for almost 4 hours for ‘lunch’. We had a three course meal and a number of bottles of their wine. We had to taste varieties and different years of production, just to make sure their wine is as good as they claim!

Enjoying gourmet food.

A weaver at work making amazing pieces of art

The last day we spent it mostly with JJ’s family, packing and some last minute shopping at the local mall. Saying goodbye to them was emotional, difficult and touching. They invited both of us back to visit soon. I was touched at the way they said it. We invited them both to London as well. We even suggested arranging a trip to other European destinations, like Paris, or even a trip to Greece.

The waterfront

Overall, I had an amazing time in South Africa. It’s such a beautiful and diverse destination. The rough sea, the big mountains, the breath taking valleys, the beauty of the garden route, the number of stars in the sky and the sound of wild animals are among the things I will never forget.

hello...

There are of course problems in the country. To put it mildly there is ‘some’ corruption in the government, high unemployment rates, lots of uneducated people, crime and vast deprived areas around every village or city. Visible from the main roads are areas where people live in abysmal conditions in shacks with no running water or amenities. As a precaution we always had our doors locked while inside the car and never left stuff in open view inside the vehicle. We didn’t have any problems, but we avoided certain areas of Cape Town. The people we met though in almost every shop or petrol station were very polite, joyful and friendly. The whole trip was an unforgettable experience and South Africa is a destination I highly recommend. Apart from the flight tickets, food and accommodation is very reasonable as well. We stayed at really nice places and had amazing food with wine while in SA.

 Sadly the end of our journey

Weekend events

So, how was your weekend? For the bloggers in the States, are you affected by Sandy? I really feel for you. It must be so frightening to feel so powerless against the forces of nature, just waiting for it to pass and pray for the best. The satellite images look so scary… On this side of the pond, things are different. We had some really cold days but nothing too serious. We really felt the winter coming which for me isn’t really an issue. I found my scarf and my winter coat from last year and tried to enjoy it.

It was a bit funny because I met a new Brazilian guy on Saturday. He’s a friend of my ‘Brazilian’, the guy I mentioned in a previous post with whom I still keep in touch. My ‘Brazilian’ suggested I should meet his friend who very recently moved to the UK for a year, to study ‘Design’. It would be good for him to know more people in the city since he doesn’t really know many. So, we arranged to meet on Saturday. JJ had some studying to do of his own and I went alone. Since I didn’t know him, it felt a bit like a blind date, without of course being one.

We had only exchanged a few messages on facebook before meeting. That evening the weather wasn’t very good. There were some showers and it was relatively cold. I wanted to walk around the centre to show him the area. However, being from a part of the world where the temperature is almost always around 25 degrees, he could really feel the cold. He doesn’t even have a proper winter jacket/coat yet. I told him to get one if he wants to survive the winter. We’re on in Antarctica, but still, some nights can really get freezing, especially if you’re not used to it. However, with some minor stops in cafes and bars to warm up and being equipped with my umbrella, we managed to walk around a bit and talk about the area. He’s generally a very nice guy and we might see him again soon.

On a different and far more important matter, I met and talked to my in-laws this weekend! ‘JJ’ Skypes them on an almost weekly basis and he suggested that it would be nice to actually talk before my arrival to their house. Till now, they knew about me, but we hadn’t actually ‘met’. However, I wasn’t really prepared for it. I was doing dishes yesterday morning, waiting for my guest to get ready before going out for a walk. ‘JJ’ was supposed to be studying upstairs, when I heard him coming downstairs while speaking Afrikaans! And ‘Surprise’, he came holding his laptop facing me and told me to talk to them!!!! I was a bit taken by surprise to say the least, but maybe that was better than knowing about it and getting stressed about it. Meeting the parents is a big thing. Meeting the parents of your gay boyfriend whose ideas on homosexuality are still a bit debatable, as far as I know, can be a bit intimidating.

However, it all went very smoothly. I said good morning to them, thanked them for the invitation and we chatted a bit about how excited we are for the trip. They were polite enough, smiling and friendly. I’ve later learnt that they agreed to come along with us while visiting the city one day. I had suggested to JJ that there is a ‘hop on / hop off’ type of bus with a guide for the city monuments. That could be an easy way to see places comfortably and his parents said they might come along!

I’ve also learnt that his mother is planning a massive feast for us on the day we arrive! The bad thing is that JJ told her about some of my different dietary habits, when I told him not to! OK, I have to admit I’m a bit weird when it comes to food. Like a spoilt child, there are common things I don’t enjoy eating like mushrooms, peppers, raisins, olives and raw tomatoes! I know that the tomatoes one is a bit weird. On my defence I don’t mind cooked tomatoes or when they are chopped in smaller pieces in a sandwich for example, but I’m not too keen on having bit chunks of them in a tomato salad.

In addition, I have to say that I eat all these stuff if mixed with other ingredients in a dish. For example if I was given a pizza with small chopped pieces of mushrooms I’d gladly eat it. If the pieces were slightly big, I might pick some out, but have the rest. It’s just I wouldn’t have any, if served alone. Also, I can eat almost anything if I have no other choice. For example, if his mother cooks something that I don’t like, I will politely eat a small portion without saying a thing. I’ve joined the army and I had some really bad food served from time to time. I can survive. It’s just, when given a choice; I would not have something I don’t really enjoy. That is why I told JJ not to tell her about it because I didn’t want to sound difficult or make a fuss out of it, but…

In any case, I’m counting the days to our trip…

Africa calling

When dating someone of different origin there can be differences of culture, ideas, language and upbringing. These can be an obstacle for some people who have the need to communicate in their mother language to their other half and share anecdotes, jokes, recipes, widely known facts from their country etc. However, these differences to me act in the exact opposite way. I find people from other countries interesting. I love learning about their culture, their customs, language and history. Since coming to London I never dated another Greek. I don’t usually hang out in places that Greeks frequent and it was easier to find people from various other backgrounds, since London is well known for that.

Anyway, ‘JJ’ is from South Africa but has been living in London for many years. We get along amazingly well and we had discussed in the past about visiting his country. It’s only fair since we’ve been in Greece so many times already! It hasn’t been easy to plan this trip because it can be a bit expensive, especially the flights, and it also demands lots of free available days. However, the time has come and we will be going to SA very soon!!! I’m so excited, you can only imagine! I’ve never been to Africa and the stories I’ve heard and documentaries I’ve seen are extraordinary!

So, we’ve booked our flights, a car and some days in various places around the countryside. We even plan to spend a couple of days in a wildlife nature reserve! I’m so looking forward to seeing Africa’s big five out in the open and not a small cage in a zoo! I hope we’ll even get a chance to see whales or even sharks. Apparently if you’re lucky there’s not even a need to take a boat since there are bays where these massive mammals and fish are visible from the shore! It’s going to be so great!

What’s also really interesting and special about our trip is the fact that we’ll stay a couple of days at JJ’s parents’ place. It’s going to be a first for all of us. JJ never took a guy he’s dating to see his parents and I’ve also never met ‘parents’ in my life. So, we’re all a bit excited and nervous at the same time. His mother already said she’s planning the menu for the days we’ll be staying there and sounds welcoming. But as far as I understood we’ll be staying in different rooms and most likely act like good friends / housemates.

I don’t really have a problem with that to be honest. We’re not a couple that displays lots of affection in public anyway. I’ve never been the type of person that shows easily his emotions in public and under their roof, I’ll play by their rules. But I believe they will in generally like me if given a chance. I can be a nice, likeable person if I want to. However, they will meet me after a very (very) long flight…

So, for the next couple of weeks before the trip, I have some preparations to do. I need to learn some more Afrikaans. I know some very basic words and phrases, but I’d like to learn more. I also want to learn something more about the history of the country and its geography. Plus, I need some ‘safari’ clothes like cargo pants and boots. I don’t want any nasty surprises of snakes biting me while walking around.

Speaking of which, JJ’s been crazy the last few days with animal documentaries. OK, he’s always been a massive fan of channels like ‘National Geographic’ or ‘Animal Planet’  but this time it’s different. Every night for the last few days we’ve been watching footage of wild animal attacks, high majority of which happen to humans in wild animal parks! He told its part of my training! Lol… I’ve seen elephants charging in jeeps in South Africa, lions attaching tourists in central Africa, sharks eating swimmers in Australia and massive snakes biting people in Central America!

Dating a porn star

The fact that George Michael is actually dating a porn star didn’t come as a shock to me, but I have to admit that I was surprised. I have no experience in the matter at all, but it made me think. Would I be OK dating a porn star or an escort for that matter? To be perfectly honest I’m not that sure about it. I don’t think that it’s a matter of morals. I do believe however that I’d have a problem with my boyfriend having ‘intimate’ moments with other people. I don’t know exactly how to explain but I would like to know that I share something special with my partner that no other people knew or watched.

Being paid for sex is considered a profession like all the rest, right? It is different being ‘easy’ (aka a slut) and sleep with lots of people not really having any standards and sleep with people in front or behind cameras to get the money you need to pay rent. As an argument I’ve heard from someone that everybody everywhere, in a sense, is using their sex or love partners. From helping to fight loneliness or fill a gap in someone’s life to sleeping with your boss to get a promotion, don’t you use the person next to you? My personal answer would be negative. Personal financial gain is different to psychological gain from both parts in a relationship where each member gives and receives more or less equally.

Also, I fear that in most cases, being paid as a sex object leaves or shows psychological scars. I have two very real examples to show you. I have a friend of mine that dated in the past both a porn actor and an escort. Both guys were of course fine. I spent some time with them in various outings and we had fun. However, both of them had issues when it came to relationships. One of them was extremely possessive and jealous! I couldn’t even grasp that a guy doing porn movies on the weekends could act like that. The second was sentimentally unattainable. I don’t know if that’s expected of an escort. I assume that in order to survive in their profession, they need to create mental walls to protect themselves that it’s not easy to take down, even if they wanted to. Sure the money's good and the looks matter but the price is too high.

These of course are speculations. Not everybody is the same and I can’t generalise. There are all kinds of people in all professions and definitely there is no such thing as being normal.

Friends

 Unfortunately, they generally come and go. Not from my life, but from the place I live in. I never was the most popular guy at school. I wasn’t the cool, confident guy that was surrounded always by people. However, I was likeable and I managed to create some very stable and strong friendships during these years. I vividly remember hosting birthday parties during my teens that might not have been the talk of the school but I believe were quite enjoyable.

Going to university in a different city made me lose most of my acquaintances from school. However, I tried to stay in touch with the closest and dearest friends from my hometown. You can count them in the fingers of one hand but I don’t mind. Even 15 years since then, we still get together and catch up. That same trend I kept through my university years. I made new friends, managed to keep the old ones and after my graduation, as normal, I moved on.

Now, I live in London. The friends I made since my postgraduate studies in the city have left. This time I was the one who stayed here and settled down and they simply left. Internet, in the forms of Facebook, whatsapp or skype, helps me maintain a connection with them. Through these years I can proudly say that I have an amazing friendship with a handful of people from my hometown and university years, both from Greece and UK.  One of my closest friends is my very first girlfriend from when I was 11! She lives in Athens though and I seldom see her in person.

It’s not about quantity, it’s about quality. I know. What I’m saying though is that, in case I threw a friends gathering three years ago more than 2 dozens of people would arrive, now I can’t see a third of that amount showing up. That does sound a bit sad. I’m not a sad person though. I have created some new friends in London who I began to love but I’m greedy, I need some more. I’ve finished with being a full time student and I don’t plan to move away again. That means that another big change in my life is on going to happen soon. I’d like to start making a proper circle of friends and acquaintances here. That of course needs some time as well.

What I believe I should find is another gay couple to hang around with ‘JJ’. We have the fun of our lives when we’re together, I’m not complaining. However, I think that it would be nice if we have another gay couple to do things with them. The vast majority of the few gay friends I have are not in a relationship and they mostly go out to get hitched with someone. Even most of my straight close friends are single now that I think about it! Why is that?

Anyway, I’m closing this post with some photos I took over the weekend. The weather was crispy but sunny and we managed to walk around central London and Wimbledon. I was again reminded why I like this city so much:

 walking around in crispy weather in St. James' Park

 The local tram

 posh grocery shopping in Wimbledon

the Wimbledon Library's brilliant outside wall

PS. You can enlarge the photos by clicking on them. Also, I've addded a small poll on the right. If you'd like to reply, I'd really appreciate it.

Holidays

I was thinking about my recent holidays in Greece and how to blog about it. I was going to separate it in two different sections, one that will focus on a personal level and the second that will focus on the national news. However, since I am still in a good mood and I don’t want to ruin it, I will not blog for the time being about Greece. Let’s just say that things are not going that well. For now the country is not making headlines but that doesn’t mean that things have progressed much.

Forgetting all about that, I’d like to concentrate more on my own holidays in Greece. If I could use just Madonna’s songs to describe it, I’d use the following:

I was so excited at first about going to Greece. I hadn’t been there since last summer and I wanted to see how my parent s and friends are doing! I still have some dear friends from my university and school years who I try to see every time I visit. I also know that my parents, besides some differences in opinion we might have, are not getting any younger and I am grateful for the time we have and spend together.

According to Greek Orthodox customs presents are exchanged on the first of January and not on Christmas day. They are brought by Saint Basil, a Saint who was famously a protector and carer of the poor and derelict. Of course the Saint’s image has been affected by the Coca-Cola red clothed white bearded Santa Claus but he still arrives on a different day. So, the first days of my holidays I spent trying to find small gifts for my relatives I would see on the New Year’s Eve feast.


That feast traditionally takes place each year in my aunt’s (my mother’s sister) great house outside the city. It starts around 9 in the evening until the early hours of the next morning. It includes large portions of food, alcohol, singing carol when the year changes, exchanging gifts, cutting the traditional New Year’s cake and then playing some board or card games. This year there were 24 of us and the meal lasted for more than 2 hours. I go there almost every year and although the family tradition does bring some warmth in my heart, I find it a bit boring. When I was younger I was very excited about the jokes said on the table, the gifts and the anticipation of the coin in the special cake. (There is a coin in the New Year’s cake and whoever gets the piece with it, is said to be lucky for the entire year.)  However, now I realise that the same jokes are said every single year and I’ve learned that the coin in the cake is a fraud. Its location is marked according to the cake decoration and is given on purpose. I am just mentioning it as an example to say that the magic is gone but fond memories still remain. That is why I still attend these gatherings.

My parents were happy I was there. My brother had visited them during Christmas and they were happy I was there the New Year’s weekend. However I feel that the distance between us in a personal level grows bigger instead of growing smaller. My father asked me the first day of my visit about my new job. We had a lengthy conversation about it but nothing else. He seemed very pleased about my progress regarding my professional life but there was nothing else to talk about. During the ten days I was there, we only made small talk and tried not to be alone in the same room. I wasn’t expecting much to be honest since I know how he can be.

What surprised me though was my mother’s behaviour. Since she doesn’t want to contradict him, she kept her distance as well. She only asked me about the new house once. The big elephant in the room was to be ignored. I tried to give her some opportunities to start a conversation but she wasn’t accepting. For example I told her a funny anecdote of my life with JJ. I told her how he’s trying to make eat more fruit that I forget to do, expecting her to be happy since she always complains that I don’t eat enough fruit. But the reaction I got wasn’t the one I expected. So, I dropped the subject and didn’t talk about it again.

In that sense the Madonna song I chose is not right. Having my father preach me would mean that he’s keeping the communication bridges open but he doesn’t. However, it’s a funny little old song which I haven’t heard in ages, so I picked that. Truth to be told I’m over feeling bad about my parents. They have their beliefs and I have mine. Probably in the future I will even stop thinking about it and simply accept the on-going situation as it is.

Anyway, I’m back in London now, back home where I am the happiest. This is how I felt when I came back:

One and a Half.

Today I have one and a half anniversary. I met JJ exactly 18 months ago. It doesn’t say much as a number I know. Since I was in high school with my then girlfriend, I had decided that after the first year, the next anniversary to be celebrated would be the next. I wasn’t a big fan of teddy bears, silly cards or radio song dedications anyway. To avoid all that, I decided not to celebrate silly things like half anniversaries that she wanted. I know that some decisions are very important, especially the ones you made at 16, but some rules are meant to be broken… So, I asked JJ out for a date tonight and I bought him a small present. I even thought of making a theme out of it but the only thing I could think of was getting one a half cake. You can't wear 1.5 t-shirt or make love 1.5 times etc... Can you?

At first he said yes. The plan was for us to go out to a nice place for dinner. I spent some hours trying to find a nice place with a twist. Meaning I’d like us to do something different or something we haven’t done in a while. We like trying out stuff like a very good Thai restaurant I know or a Korean bbq where the food is grilled at your table or an amazing Italian place with a vulgar name but massive portions of great food. I had decided on a nice Turkish restaurant where you sit on massive cushions and share food in a cosy friendly environment under the candlelight. That is the reason I totally love London. There are so many options its mind blowing.

However, that plan was not to be realised because ‘JJ’ pulled a muscle. It may sound simple but it is very painful and frustrating. He managed to pull his neck so much that he can’t twist his head, make sudden movements or lift his right arm too much! For a person like him who doesn’t know how to sit down, rest and do nothing, the situation is maddening. I had to talk to him to make him realise that he needs to take some time off work. He wasn’t easily convinced though. He had to sneeze while we had that conversation to feel the excruciating pain to actually agree with me. He’s started seeing a chiropractor and he will get better soon. What I do for the time being is take care of him and make him laugh, even if it causes him pain… The other option is to keep him sedated with drugs.

BBQ, the South African Way…

The following pictures were taken two days ago, when ‘JJ’ organised a bbq in his back garden, for me and two of our friends. The good thing about his bizarre work schedule is that he can get weekdays off which means he can organise things like that without too much of a hassle. Knowing JJ however, I think he did stress himself to organise the perfect bbq. In a very strange way, he likes running around like crazy trying to set things up and he has a very good eye on small details that I would normally ignore.

South Africans must have a thing about bbqs. JJ shines like a star when mentioned and he’s always up for it. He’s told me that his parents have bbqs three to four times a week! They find it much easier to light a fire to grill stuff outside than cooking indoors. Probably it’s the weather. Greece shares similar warm and sunny weather but they are not that common for us. Maybe it’s the lack of space in the cities I was living in or the fact that when the weather turns warn, it gets so warm that lighting a fire is a torture. Don’t know…

The scene of the 'crime'

Chicken liver and salmon starters

Cocktails

Baby potatoes

Some boerewors (aka the farmer's sausage)

Chicken slow cooked in the oven in case it rained (always a possibility in UK)

greens

Mrs. Ball's Chutney

Looking again on these photos, I find it strange that they were taken two days ago. London saw lots of heavy rain and even hail yesterday. It was like we went straight from summer to winter in 24 hours.

While speaking to my mother yesterday, I mentioned the bbq. OK, I mentioned it more than once and at some point she got the bait. She asked me where we did it. She knows I leave in a block of flats which is very nice but it’s without outside space. So, I mentioned ‘JJ’. That was the first time ‘JJ’s name was mentioned in our casual conversations. Of course she knows about him, since she stalks me on facebook and checks my photo albums. She also knows about the trips we take together. However, we’ve never actually discussed about him and never mentioned his name.

Giving JJ a name, as silly as it may sound, changes some stuff. He’s not just a random guy I see behind their back. He suddenly gets a personality, a physical presence that he didn’t have before. Also, mentioning his name means that more conversation will follow and my mother might actually ask me about him and start accepting the truth about what’s going on. I think I dropped a small bomb on her and I’ll now have to wait to see the results…

Anyhow, have a lovely weekend! Enjoy!

It’s official…

Since I opened all my birthday presents, the trip to Paris being the last one, I can now say that I’m officially in my 30’s. It’s not like I’ve been hiding it so far, but I was a little bit in denial. I’ve even updated my profile which you can glimpse on your right. I will need to properly update that at some point.
That means though that I can play now with the big boys …

The question now is where I’d like to see myself in 10 years time… Hmmmm. That’s not an easy one.


The first and foremost thing I’d want is to be healthy. I’d also like to be financially more stable in the process of paying for own house, somewhere outside the busy and noisy city centre. I’d also like to be married, content with a lifestyle that suits me. Call me old fashioned but I like the idea of a small house with some outdoors growing my own things on a quiet neighbourhood.

The questions that are buzzing through my ears are “Do I see myself living in London?” or “Do I see myself in 10 years with JJ?”. My most honest reply would be “why not?”. The way things are I must say that I can go wherever there is work. I am not afraid of changes and I can try making a good living almost anywhere there are good working conditions. I’ve been in London for the last 5 years and I’ve been greatly enjoying myself.


Regarding JJ there are no clouds in the sky. I’m pretty much in love and we’re having our fun. We generally don’t fight and there are no major ups and downs. He’s a stable, reliable, caring person and we do get along very well. I’m never bored when I’m with him and he always makes me laugh. However, there is a small stupid voice in the back of my head that is always worrying. I can’t help asking myself a silly ‘what if?’ thinking about bad things that can go wrong. I think I’ve inherited this voice from my mother. Our next step would be to live together. On one side I can’t feel anything but excited about it and on the other I can’t help but worry that we will grow tired or sick of one another in due time.

I’ll give you an easy example. JJ’s mother is very religious. She’s always been. She’s been sending him scripts from the bible on his mobile phone and mentions God when they talk on the phone. She of course disapproves of him being gay but she’s trying not to put that too much between them. She knows her son is a good person and is making efforts to maintain a healthy relationship with him. JJ grew up with all these. He has his own Bible that she sent to him. Lately he mentioned that he sometimes reads that Bible himself. Although there is nothing wrong with that, that little voice on the back of my head starting ringing an alarm bell! What if in 10 years time he becomes one of these religious fanatics? What if he turns like a bad version of his mother? What if there are more signs that I can’t see?


I know I’m being silly. There is absolutely no reason to worry about all these. I do manage to shut that voice up and I try to look on the positive side of things. I am ‘Mr Worry’ though sometimes. The plan I have now is to move in with JJ beginning next year. It would be interesting to see how my parents would react to these news!

Same Sex Couples…

I was thinking about differences between same sex to different sex couples and I came up with only a few! I can’t really find many differences even if I wanted. I don’t agree that in a gay couple someone has to take the ‘husband’ role and another the ‘wife’ role. I don’t even understand what that means, although I came across people thinking in these stereotypes. Is the ‘bottom’ one the wife and the other the husband? Is the one doing most of the errands the wife?

Please bear in mind that I am not being serious and I don’t want to offend any one. I am just playing with stereotypes…

Same sex couples:

I found it VERY worrying when I realised that in same sex couples, your exs can become an item! Think about the horror seeing your ex A being a couple with your ex B and talk / gossip / bitch about you! If only there was a hole I could hide in.

For the time being I only have a good friend of mine being a fuck buddy with a guy I dated a couple of times. At least we didn’t ‘drown the rabbit’ (Greek expression) so they can’t gossip about what I do/don’t in bed or grade me in any case… I’m not (very) insecure when it comes to that, but I would find it a bit weird.

Female same sex couple:

It’s funny (at least to me) how lesbians’ monthly circle change and becomes synchronized. However, I fear that a couple of two hormone driven women will be difficult to manoeuvre. How do they keep calm and not have fights every single month?

It’s also a good thing that in female couples, both parties can understand ‘women’ issues equally.

Male same sex couple:

When a man and a woman date, it is accustomed (at least it used to be) about the male courtesies regarding taking a coat, pulling a chair, opening a door, maybe paying the bill. What happens when a gay couple dates? Who takes this role? (Am I the only one who thought of that?) Who is supposed to take the initiative and call the next day?

Also, snoring can be an issue…

Family visiting…

My brother’s coming tomorrow to London. He’s older by three years, straight, divorced without any children. We’ve been maintaining a really nice relationship after our teens. We really hated each over back then as most boys do. He’s going to see a football match between his team (Aris) and Manchester City on Thursday. On the way to and back from Manchester, he’ll be staying at my place. I’m so looking forward to it.

Every time I visit Greece because of all the things I have to do, people to meet and please, I am hardly left any time to see him. I hope now we’ll have a chance to sit down and talk. I haven’t seen him since Christmas, which was quite a busy period anyway and we didn’t actually talk.

What’s more important is that while visiting, he’ll get a chance and meet ‘JJ’. Of course he’s heard of him and he’s seen the facebook pictures but he’s never actually met him before. For me, it’s a first, since he will be meeting for the first time a guy I’m seeing. Previously, he had only seen briefly, once the ‘Brazilian’ but that didn’t really count. I wasn’t in love with the ‘Brazilian’ and I didn’t really care. That wasn’t a proper relationship in any case.

I’m not worried though. I believe that my brother will like him. Unfortunately JJ is not having this week a very convenient work schedule and he will not be able to be staying with us long. At least we will be able to go for dinner for a couple of hours tomorrow in a nice local pub.

JJ is the one who’s worried. He is generally the worrying type anyway. He thinks that because he will be nervous, he will appear foolish or silly and he will not be able to stop giggling all the time. He also believes that my brother will have an issue because he is much older than me. So, for tomorrow, I’ve invited reinforcements. My housemate and her sister will be joining us for dinner. It’s going to be five of us, which is a good number. We’re not going to be too many to get lost in the crowd or too few to be overwhelmed.

We’re simply going to the pub, have nice food and a couple of pints to wash it all down. It’s going to be fine and we will have a nice time…

Interview update

So, I went for my interview on Friday or let’s say my evaluation day as they call it! It was supposed to last from 9 in the morning till 5 in the afternoon (oh yes, 7 hours with an hour lunch break)!!! I had taken a day off work for that. I lied to them about taking the day off to enjoy the day by doing something different. That wasn’t totally untrue since I did something different but I didn’t really enjoy it.

Before going for the interview, I knew what the company would propose. They offer 10 - 12 weeks professional training and then a placement as an ‘IT Consultant’. The training is offered for free but for two years you would be an employee of that company which would ‘sell’ you as a contractor to clients. They sell you in much higher price than the money you are given but I hoped to be patient for two years to build my CV to the level I wanted. The deal seemed appealing, although I didn’t know the exact terms.

Anyway, I spent Thursday night feeling restless and I did wake up way earlier than I should to get dressed, shave and have plenty of time to arrive there in time. Upon arrival I met the three other candidates / opponents I would have to win / beat / kill over the next couple of hours. I didn’t know how many places were available so I had to be prepared for the worse.

What I wasn’t really prepared was what followed, the presentation of the ‘deal’ between us and the company! The latter wanted its candidates to be 100% flexible, meaning you couldn’t say ‘no’ to a job offering. That meant that you might end up anywhere in the UK (including Northern Ireland of course) working for any possible company. OK, the subject of the actual project would be relevant to the training stream you had chosen but I thought that this would include a huge leap of faith from my part and I was reluctant to say ‘yes’.

In addition to that, the money offered was a joke. They explained that the cost of the training offered is around £20k, which is ridiculous since any Msc in IT in the best universities costs much less. To give you an idea, my MSc in a very good university in London was priced £3.5k in 2007! I can’t believe that the same MSc would cost more than £10k today! Since that training money would at least have to be returned, every candidate would be given a fixed monthly salary which I believed was at least offensive.

At the end of the presentation I decided that the offer was not for me (but for younger totally inexperienced graduates) and I had my doubts of staying for the whole day. However, I couldn’t go back to work to reclaim at least half a day off and I thought that playing along would be a very good practice in being interviewed, so I stayed. I did the group exercise, I stayed for the actual interview, I passed the logic and grammar exams. My younger co candidates were very eager at being accepted although two of them failed and were sent home before the lunch break.

At some point in the afternoon, I started getting tired and I did really badly at the last part of the evaluation day (the technical evaluation). The evaluator was a total ass trying to be very difficult and I kind of lost it not replying to questions that I would normally know. While I’m typing this post an email arrived thanking me for taking part in the process but I didn’t pass to the next level. I’m not bothered at all to be honest. I had already decided not to accept an offer anyway, although it is a nice confidence boost to reject offers instead of being rejected but anyway I do have some other things in mind of what to do next.

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Anyway, that’s what happened on Friday! I’m going to leave you now wishing you a ‘Happy Valentine’s Day’. We decided with JJ not to buy each other any cards, flowers or gifts although I did make desert. We have booked a table in a nice dim sum place and then we'll head back to my place for 'desert'.

I hope it tastes nice. That was my first ever attempt at baking a cake…

Geeky stuff and marble cakes.

I’ve been very busy during and after work lately which explains a bit the lack of blogging. I have a big interview tomorrow. When I say ‘big’, I mean it. It is for a position that I am very interested in which will open lots of doors for me, but it also lasts way too long. I have to be there before 9am and I’m planned to leave after 4:30pm. They call it ‘evaluation day’ and I fear it will be a nightmare.

I’ve been working non stop every evening on a presentation I’ll have to do for them regarding a small applet I’ve programmed myself. I decided to do a simple image viewer. There’s a login screen where the user enters user name and password which is compared to the data stored in a file and a series of images displayed in a separate screen with ‘back’, ‘next’ button etc. It’s not something major, but I believe it to be correct in ‘theory’ which matters. I’ve tried to follow all the rules and regulations of object oriented programming. What worry me most about tomorrow though are silly things like ‘group exercise’! I don’t have any experience in them. Anyway, I hope it’ll be OK.

Staying on the same subject, I’ve ordered my new phone yesterday, renewing my mobile phone contract. OK, it’s not entirely the same subject, although I believe that the programming / geekiness subject might include tech gadgets. Anyway, it only took 3 phone calls, waiting for half an hour for someone to talk to and threatening I’m quitting them. They finally gave me the contract terms I wanted and knew they’d give me. I went for the Nokia N8, which is admittedly not the easiest phone out there with the best operating system but it has an amazing camera (12MP Carl Zeiss optics) and good hardware. I had my eyes on that gadget since September. I’m not that interested about silly billion applications as long as it plays my music.

OK, now I’m changing the subject, Monday’s Valentine’s Day. I’m not a great fan of the day. Last year I didn’t even mention it on my blog. I don’t believe in all the corny gift giving red shaped rituals one has to follow. I don’t like the fact that in a way you’re forced to show your love for someone. I totally prefer unexpected small gestures of someone’s affection than actually being forced to do so. I like receiving and giving flowers and small presents when not expected.

However, I don’t want to sound that obnoxious. I know ‘JJ’ will get me a card, so I’ll get him one too. He has already booked a table for us to go and have dim sum that evening. Just the though of the possible banal decoration of the restaurant is giving me shivers but I promise to keep my mouth shut so that I will not ruin the atmosphere. I’ve done the same for us and I’ve booked Korean bbq the following Saturday. I’m also checking if we’ll manage to go to an exclusive gym to enjoy an indoor heated swimming pool and Jacuzzi.

What I finally think of doing is baking him a cake. I’ve never ever in my life made desert before. I like baking and cooking but I do not generally have a ‘sweet tooth’. When people bring me chocolates, they might stay there unopened for days. I’m still trying to finish a box of really nice milk and almond chocolates I received before Christmas. So, the plan is to actually make something chocolaty from scratch, either a chocolate marble cake or chocolate brownie. I’m checking the ‘BBC good food’ with the label ‘Easy’ next to it. I hope it will look decent and taste nice. I also hope I’ll have fun making it.