Unexpected...

My vacation in Greece did not go exactly as planned (that’s the least you can say)…

I’m having a really wonderful time. I will not deny that. I’ve been going to the beach every single day. I just love the sound of the waves, the sea breeze, enjoying a good book and checking out gorgeous guys with tiny swim trunks. I’ve been enjoying the company of close old friends as well. I’ve come to the conclusion that you do not have to see some people often to consider them a valuable friend. You might have months or even years to see someone, but after a few minutes of catching up, it’s like all that time did not pass. I’ve been blessed to have friends like that…

However, something happened that made this visit to my hometown slightly different.

I came out to my father two days ago. For some, this might not sound that important but to me it is. Others might say that I should have done that ages ago, since I’m now almost thirty, but some things take time. My mother had hinted in the past that she knows but we hadn’t openly talked about it until now. My father’s first reaction was not that good, but not that bad either. He is in his 60s, coming from a small town,he's educated, but he doesn’t know any gay people. The only gay person he knows is a cousin of his, now in his 70s, who’s a bit miserable, living on his own, not being able to stand his loneliness and desperation.

So, my father made me sit with him on the kitchen table and started his speech. In a nutshell, he told me that being gay was a one way route to loneliness and depression. That gay people are people mostly without morality or dignity, which live a life full of shame of being gay and end up without the support of friends or relatives. He then continued presenting me examples of gay people (from the news) that committed suicide or were brutally numbered as acts of homophobia or ended up being gigolos / prostitutes… Then, he started wondering what he did wrong as a parent and finished his speech telling me that I can change if I want to and I should try to change (yes, like hanging a shirt)…

I did try to reason with him in many occasions and tried to tell him where he was wrong (I think there’s no need to explain why and where - right?). He didn’t listen to me or wanted to listen to me, so I let him continue. When he finished, we kept on with our lives as normal, until today the subject was not brought up again. I’ve decided to let him get a bit more accustomed to the idea and then I might try to ‘educate’ him a bit.

The thing is that I understand that he is trying to be protective and he’s being a bit unreasonable without fault of his own. He doesn’t know any gay people and how being gay can lead you to a healthy life style (you know what I mean). He’s worried mostly of what might happen to me when they are not around to protect me. His main concern is my future and what I will do when I'm old. He kept on talking about old age, loneliness and depression. I can not be angry with him of course. I’ve decided to stand up for what I believe.

It could be my fault that we hadn’t had that discussion ages ago. It’s now my obligation to talk to him about me and my life and show him things, in due time, that he is not familiar with…This talk of course is not over… I have a lot of things to talk about with him...

I'm really fortunate though that I have the support of my brother. He's probably the one that can calm and reason with them and I know that he will talk to them in due time on my behalf.

Overall, I am happy I came out to them. Relieved and I know that the awkwardness will pass eventually...