Tuesday, 11 August 2009

My first crush (+ crash) Part 2

So, I arranged to meet ‘A’ early evening close to the university campus. We’ve been chatting endless hours during the past week and I knew most things about him. However, that didn’t stop me from feeling so stressed about it. I was a bit scared because that was the first guy I was going to meet from the internet (little did I know that I would get so used to it later). Also, we hadn’t exchanged any pictures, so I didn’t know what to expect. Back then, mobile phones were some big black and white only machines that had up to 3 lines that you could write something. Of course no camera attached and no mms. Digital cameras had appeared, but most were ridiculously expensive and we were just students.

After spending hours deciding what to wear (I am gay after all) I went to the prearranged place. I arrived first but he wasn’t late. I was expecting the worse and was pleasantly surprised. He was wearing his hair very short and had a t-shirt and jeans. He was spending hours in the swimming pool back then and he had an amazing body.

After exchanging our pleasantries he said: ‘You look just like I thought you would be’! We started walking towards a nice small coffee place that was close by and I tried to understand exactly what he meant. Apparently, he understood that I was totally inexperienced, with low self confidence, shy person. According to his way of thinking, that meant that I would be what you call the ‘nice’ guy who’s not handsome, that you wouldn’t look twice in a party if you were trying to find someone to snog. He wasn’t far from the truth.

We sat for coffee and he started boasting about his sex life and everything he had accomplished in that area. I couldn’t see right through him, not knowing about this type of guys, and I fell for it. Had it been now, I wouldn’t have looked twice. Back then, ‘A’ meant the world to me. He was the first one to understand what I was going through. He was gay in Greece where gays appear like non existent, at least at the place I was coming from (Mykonos and gay freedom seemed to only exist in a galaxy far far away).

I don’t exactly remember how it started, but I met ‘A’ many times after that. We were going drinking, for dinner or for coffees. He had said that he wasn’t into relationships, he just wanted fuck buddies. According to him he had already met most of the people from the Greek gay channel in mirc from the area(My first crush). However, he didn’t like going to gay bars (there were a few) because he knew many people, which meant that my circle of gay friends did not grow at all while I was seeing ‘A’.

Our chemistry was good and we could talk for hours without being bored. I was beginning to fall in love with him which he understood but didn’t want to do anything about it. He was flattered and I was boosting his ego and confidence. Of course, he was calling the shots and I didn’t do anything to stop it. I could see that he was calling me when all his ‘mates’ were unavailable and wanted someone to keep him company. He loved asking me if I met anyone new, after he had enriched his sexual experiences since the last time we met (which he already described), to get a negative answer.

However, at some point I couldn’t take it any more and when my housemate was gone for the week I invited ‘A’ to my place for drinks. It had already been a few months since we’ve met. I don’t know how I gathered the strength to do it, but I knew that would be the night. We started having some wine and normally chatting. At some point he took his shoes off and got more comfortable sitting at the big sofa. I then got up, went to lock the outside door and I told him that since he took his shoes off he had to stay over (it’s an amazing opening line, I know. Don’t judge me though. It was my first time ever being with a guy and I was quite nervous. Give me some credit for actually starting this whole thing). I sat on the sofa next to him and we started snogging. I was in heaven.

It is actually very weird, maybe it was the wine, but after we started taking clothes off I was so calm, relaxed and enjoying myself. I remember most of the staff that happened that night (like moving to the bedroom at some point). I also remember laughing a lot, making fun of minor accidents (like kicking him slightly in the head – don’t ask). We didn’t sleep much that night (obviously) and we had a very early wake up call from my housemate. I knew he was coming back that day but I didn’t expect him to arrive before 9 in the morning! It was slightly embarrassing and awkward (to us at least) since my housemate came into the house to find clothes tossed all around the living room. It was only fair that I came out to him the following days…

That was the beginning of a weird relationship with ‘A’ that lasted for quite a while. I remember feeling ridiculously happy the next day and going to my lectures without paying any attention. I also remember thinking ‘I had sex yesterday’ and feeling proud of that, like I was the only one who invented it and found it’s magic. I was like Chandler in the first seasons of ‘Friends’ after being lucky and getting some…


  1. just stumbled on your blog, this post is hilarious, lol

    very good one.


  2. Hey FMS,
    thanks for the comment!