Friday, 27 November 2009

Friday happiness

I just received one of the most wonderful text messages for the past days: ‘Great news-you are now connected to O2 Broadband. You may now plug in, run the CD and enjoy! Thanks O2.’
I can now try finding my laptop, removing the dust that is covering it and turn it on after being neglected for days. I think that’s the longest I’ve ever left it off. Last time I used it was on Sunday when I took it to the local pub that has wireless internet connection!

On a totally different issue, I went running this morning before work. I normally don’t do that because the idea of me going outside in shorts that early, with this cold, is not pleasant. The transition from being under the duvet to going running by the river is very difficult. However, with all my evenings spent with my parents I have to do some kind of exercise in the morning. In addition, I’m beginning to freak out a bit regarding my half marathon race in three months. Excluding the (at least) two weeks of overeating and overdrinking of the holiday season, I don’t have much time left. I am not being delusional about being nice and not eating too much during my holidays spent in Greece. So, I want to get some proper exercise before mid December and get back on track beginning of next year.

That means that I should get over myself and start running at least three times per week and it would be better done in the morning to have my evenings free. So, I was thinking that in order to get myself more motivated I should try buying new running gear. I need proper warmer running clothes for my upper body, running gloves and some long tights (OF COURSE to wear under my shorts). I also need to download and update my ipod music collection that I listen to during running. Maybe a pedometer? I’m gay, I like these kind of things (gadgets, accessories, new clothes).
I began running in May and I do not have winter running equipment…

One of the main reasons I like running is that it clears your mind and you can get a new perspective on certain things. After finishing the first couple of miles, your body goes in ‘autopilot’, running mode, without much thinking over it letting your mind wander. So, this morning I was thinking of the ‘Essex Boy’ in combination with the movie ‘He’s just not that into you’ (bad combination). The movie is not that great but it does put some things under consideration…

The last time I saw him was the previous Wednesday (almost 10 days ago). I sent him a text last Friday to see how he’s doing. He replied a few hours later saying that he’s having an awful day at work and would need a pint afterwards. I invited him over to come with my mates since we were going for a pint anyway. He replied to the invitation around midnight (a little bit too late). God forbid he couldn’t come and meet some of my friends. I’ve never met some of his also. I then contacted him on Tuesday evening to see how’s he doing and his replies were a bit weird that included words like ‘yo morfo’ (= hello, mother fucker), so I guessed before telling me that he was out for drinks.

He comes from a rough area (in Essex) and I know that that’s his weird sense of humour (I hope) and calling me a mother fucker is actually exchanging pleasantries. However, that’s not me. I’m more polite as a person and he just seems to be underestimating me. Anyway, I don’t want to sound like I’m a desperate complaining bitch (again) but I start to think the whole ‘he’s just not that into you’ business. If he was ‘into’ me, wouldn’t he try a little bit harder?

I just find him difficult to understand. I still don’t know what he’s looking for and what he wants from me. Is it just sex? Is he content with talking just once per week to arrange a weekly getting together or even less frequent that always ends up in sex? It would be easier if I only knew what he wanted. Could it be that he doesn’t know what he wants himself? (most likely)

Anyway, I’m finishing this complaining / projecting insecurities extravaganza. ‘Essex boy’ is old enough to make is decisions. I will not stay put waiting for him. I’ll try to go out with someone that shows a little bit more interest in me just because I deserve it…
(OK, I’m officially losing it)


  1. I don't envy you witht he running in this weather. I cant even motivate myself to go outside and go to the gym which would be warm. Good luck with the training though.

    As for 'Essex Boy', I think you should just stop texting him for a while and let him do the chasing, and see what happens. Maybe try meeting up with him without the sex and see if he is still interested then. Hope it works out though

  2. The thing with Essex boy, really, and you’ve answered yourself, and it’s not a pleasant thing to accept, but yes, if her were more into you, then he would make more of an effort. Boils back down to that old saying “we spend so much time staring at the closed door, we don’t notice when the others open”

    Awesome on the running. Running is one of the most awesome activities in my opinion. I started running to get into shape and really lost quite a lot of weight and its awesome for toning, now, I run because I love it. it’s really addictive.

  3. No you're not losing it. That sounds just right.
    Hey, hows the parents' visit?

  4. @Ryan O. I agree about 'Essex boy'. I haven't texted him and I plan to keep it like that. I disagree regarding 'running' though. It's fun to run and even more fun to get a bit dirty (while running I meant)

    @wozzel. Thanks for the comment as well. I agree with you on what you are saying. Have you tried doing a marathon / half marathon? Would you consider doing one?

    @Juz. The 'losing it' bit goes to the 'I deserve it' bit. It sounded like a L'Oreal (Is it?) commercial...

  5. hey Nik - yeah, ive taken part in loads of races and completed one half marathon. Its torture, but at the end of it, you feel awesome knowing you've done it. one day, i will attempt South Africa's biggest race, the Comrades Marathon.