Tuesday, 24 November 2009

Can you learn new tricks to an old dog?
Should you try to teach him new tricks in the first place?
How easy is it?
Is it fair to expect from someone what he cannot possibly offer?

If you’ d ask me these questions in general, I would have said that experience taught me that it is very difficult for some things / people to change and that it is not fair to try to make someone change so that he will fill your needs or expectations.
However, I do believe that people ‘bend’ their behavior according to their other half and the people they associate. They might not change, but slightly modify their ‘patterns’.

OK, I know. I’m being too vague... Let’s take the example of A and B.
A is more sentimental and romantic. B, on the other hand is slightly more introvert, feels awkward when trying to express his feelings and sometimes seems distant. How can A ask of B to be more expressive, communicative and extrovert?

Another example…
A is very social and has a big circle of friends. He likes going out spending time with his mates in crowded places, dancing in bars and clubs. B on the other hand likes nights in. He loves to cook, cuddle and spend time watching DVD. Is this relationship doomed from the beginning?

How easy is it to find equilibrium in these situations? Is it possible to make these differences the reason that holds two people together? Do Opposites attract? Being one of the two opposites, can you sustain the pressure?

Is the common ground found enough?


  1. opposites DO attract, at least in my partner's and my case. we share common ground on some things, but laugh about how if he says he likes "b", i will inevitably say i like "a". he loves watching tv, i would rather be outside doing something. we share common ground in paddling our two man outrigger canoe. we both love to cook. i respect his differences, and he respects mine. i used to think i needed to find someone who shared a lot more common interests and things *i* liked to do, but have realized: when you love someone, all of that gets thrown out the window. it can be frustrating sometimes, but nothing in life is ever easy. and no matter what anyone EVER tells you, relationships are a lot of work. but worth it all!

  2. I can see what you mean. However, your most important common ground is that you love and respect each other. That's what's holding you together. It's not easy to find and accomplish...

    I agree that relationships need a lot of work. some people don't realise that...