Wednesday, 10 February 2010

The honeymoon period (or thoughts on relationship part 2)

I’m not going to be any more cynical on the whole ‘starting a new relationship’ kind of thing. I love the time I spend with ‘JJ’. None of the reasons I posted previously do really matter. My answer to them is that I’ll just try to have more sex with him. It’s free, time consuming, amazingly pleasant AND you burn calories by doing it.

On a very different issue, when we were recently (me and JJ that is) in a very nice pub in Shepherd’s Bush area in west London we encountered a friendly gay couple. We were there attending the good bye party (aka lot’s of drinks) of a friend of mine who was leaving the UK permanently. She was going away with her boyfriend to live in Australia. For the time being they live in a small shack in Goa, totally next to the sea (lucky bitches), before they reach Australia.

Anyway, while we were there we came across ‘Jay’ and ‘Ri’. I knew ‘Jay’ because he was an ex of a friend. He seems in general a nice guy. I heard some bad things from our common friend but I didn’t want to stick to them. I wanted to make my own mind about him so I started chatting with him. A part of the conversation went like this:
-Him: So, how long have you been with ‘JJ’?
-Me: A couple of months
-Him: So, you are still in your honeymoon period
-Me: Meaning?
-Him: For NOW, even his farts smell like roses
-Me: (Shocked from the inside – laughing from the outside) Ha-ha, How long do you think that the honeymoon period lasts?
-Him: It normally lasts for around 6 months. If you’re lucky it lasts around a year
-Me: (still not believing what he was telling me) So, how long have you been with ‘Ri’?
-Him: We’ve been living together for 2.5 years. I know him for about a year longer.
-Me: So, the honeymoon period is over?
-Him: Oh, yes, his farts don’t smell like roses any more!
-Me: (still being shocked)
-Him: No, no. Don’t get me wrong. After the honeymoon period you enter another nice period of love, security etc… (and the conversation went to other subjects)

I was mostly shocked from what I heard not because I don’t expect my relationship with JJ to evolve and change. I know that he is not perfect (as wozzel recently said and RyanO commented). I know that I am not perfect either. We will have our downsides and troubles. I am not denying that.

However, I would never say to someone what ‘Jay ’ said to me! I found it to be so rude. That’s the second time I’ve met him in 3 years and him implying that I live a fake fairytale that will soon end is preposterous. He doesn’t know me or ‘JJ’ either. I could feel ‘JJ’ flinching next to me while hearing the conversation. (I also don’t talk about farting to people I don’t know)

The irony behind the whole thing is that ‘Jay’ and ‘Ri’ have a common Manhunt profile trying to find a third person to keep them company in their bed. And I happen to know that because they were checking my profile when I had one.

Anyway, I got annoyed because ‘JJ’ being slightly more sentimental than I am (and having drunk a bit) was feeling weird, somewhere between offended and worried. We slightly talked about it on our way back and laughed about it. There is no need to worry beforehand and regarding the smell…


  1. Don't sweat it Nik. You and JJ sound like you're on the right track.
    However I must confess, I like talking about farts - it's just one of those things that gets me laughing. Toilet Humor - bad taste, I know - but I can't help it. I have to restrain myself from posting it on my blog.

  2. Ew, fart talk is NEVER good. Someone made a fart comment on one of my posts and I was mortified! On the other subject, dont worry about the honeymoon stuff he was going on about. I am pretty sure he wasnt being derogatry about your relationship, but at the same time, he wasnt being fair either. The honeymoon period only ends when people give up making the effort and fall into a relaxed state of familiarity. If you are willing to keep up the work, then the fun and loving times never need to come to an end. Him putting a time period on it is silly too. Obviously a time comes in every relationship when it calms down a bit, but that doesnt mean that the excitement of the first few months has to go away. As long as you want to keep it that way, and are willing to work at it, you are on safe ground Nik. I am sure that you and JJ will be fine and happy for a very long time, so keep your pecker up :D

    That wasnt meant to sound naughty btw :P

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  4. Oh my, do I really need to comment about the last pic? O_O

  5. Sorry, had to delete the post, I think it was way too aggressive towards someone I don't know and that's really rude of me.

    Ok, comment rewritten:
    Why should one's opinion matter so much? Jay's not almighty. No one is, even though humans have this weird urge to 'generalize' everything into stereotypes which is WRONG *FAIL*
    As some say 'everyone's different and that's what makes humankind so unique'.

    I know my boyfriend for almost 5 years now and I was never so damn in love with him like I am right now.
    Yes, we fight a lot, but make-up sex and make-up conversations are so damn good and it strengthens a lot our relation!

    Look over your own relationship with JJ - that's WAY much more important than what you were told by and imperfect human that makes mistakes like everyone else.

    The honeymoon period is whenever you want it and lasts as long as you want!

    Take care.


  6. @Juz I don't sweat it. I'm good.

    @RyanO lol... it's not a comment to be mortified. I'm not worried. Really. I just wanted to comment on people and how they can mingle and make inappropriate comments.

    @Pedders I really do appreciate the effort you made on your comments. I didn't know you were in such long relationship.
    Thanks :-)

  7. that wrestling pic gets me everytime, it's hysterical.
    nik for my 10c, screw that fart-talking dude, no single person can comment on another person's relationship. you have to be inside it to understand it.

  8. there are absolutely NO rules in relationships. Guide lines, yes. But no time lines. Everyone is different and each relationship will evolve as it is meant to be. You must give into that and not hold onto ideal or ideals that could be completely warped. I believe in taking everything as it comes.

    I think what you have at the moment is just what you need and i'm happy for you.

  9. Wow, that's quite presumptuous of him. I'm envious of anyone that gets *into* a honeymoon period that they cherish and are afraid of losing. ;-)

  10. @Paige Thanks for that... I agree with you. That's why I wouldn't make a similar comment

    @Wozzel Thanks. :-D

    @Gauss_Jordan I can't not cherish it...

  11. At first, I thought that it wasn't all that rude of him to say, but when you mention that JJ was sitting next to you during the conversation, then yes, it is absolutely rude. There are lots of different types of relationships though. And yours will be what you make of it. So far, it sounds like you and JJ are having a great time together, and that's all that matters. :) x

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  13. We have all heard the term 'The Honeymoon Period' used to describe the first, deliriously happy months of a relationship. Everyone is on their best behavior and feeling giddy and optimistic about the future.