Thursday, 1 September 2011

There’s no place like home

with so much drama…

So, I went back to Greece last weekend. It was all very nice. The weather was warm and sunny. I caught up with some old friends. Most of them feel trapped in the current financial situation and complain about it. The market is still suffering and there aren’t many jobs. One ex-university colleague and very good friend will most likely make a move and try to find a job in London. We’re already rewriting her CV in English and plan when and where to start applying. So, you might hear of her later on this year. I will be living with ‘JJ’ till then but he gladly offered her a place to stay at the beginning of her new life abroad!

During my visit I even went swimming. Last Monday, that same friend who’s thinking of moving to London, pick me up with her car and after sorting some errands she had, we headed to the beach. Because it was Monday, the place wasn’t very busy but nice and quiet. We planned her future and thought of possible solutions to her problems. It felt a bit weird but very nice lying under the sun. Some days earlier, in London, I was feeling the autumn coming. Now, I was in my swimming trunk half naked feeling warm.

My happy feet by the sea

Anyway, the wedding was really nice. The ceremony took place outside the city, in a farm, under the trees. The only downside was the slight smell coming from the livestock. However, there was a slight breeze in the air, who was very welcome. The reception was in a nearby restaurant / bar, under the trees. Since it was my cousin’s wedding there were many relatives I hadn’t seen in ages. So, I had to spend some time simply greeting one aunt or another. And I do have a lot…

The day before the wedding, I went for a walk with my mother, alone. We had decided to visit some local shops and my father’s never in the mood to join us. After walking for quite a bit, we sat in a nearby coffee place. After sharing some general gossips, I decided to talk to her about ‘JJ’ and that we’re moving in. It didn’t go as smoothly as planned…

lovely unhealthy food.

What I haven’t mentioned because I am still a bit in denial, is my current health situation. During my latest health check for my new company, the doctor found that my bad cholesterol levels are high, very high. This can only be caused by my bad genes since I am fairly young and active. OK, I have some extra kilos that I could live without, but in any case the situation shouldn’t be that bad. He suggested a special diet, which in case it didn’t work I should start taking medication. That completely freaked me out. I’ve just turned thirty. I can’t be taking pills for the rest of my life! I simply can’t. So, I was thinking of visiting a dietician and give that a go. If that doesn’t work in a year, we’ll see.

I mentioned that to my mother first before ‘JJ’. I didn’t mention how high my cholesterol is. I didn’t want to completely freak her out. I told her that it is slightly higher than the limit. She was generally fine by it. We agreed that I shouldn’t ignore it and that I should also warn my brother to get a blood test. She was even fine with me taking pills. She wasn’t fine about ‘JJ’ though.

teddy bears drying upside down...

What she first said was: ‘here we go’! Then she asked me about JJ. She wanted to know his age and profession! She added that my father is completely freaked out about the whole thing and there is no way she can calm him! She even asked me what to tell people!!!! At that point I got really annoyed! I hoped that my health would be more important as an issue, even if I tried to sugar coat it a bit. Also, I thought that when selecting a partner there are more important things than his age and job! Of course she didn’t like the fact that JJ is older than me. She made him sound like a pervert taking advantage of poor innocent me! I know that probably I shouldn’t have but I stopped the conversation then and there. I should have been more patient…

I spent more time alone with my mother but the issue wasn’t brought up again. My father was as distant as he normally is. The only personal thing he told me was that I’ve gotten fat the last months (always nice to hear)! The three of us went for dinner and spent time together, but the conversations circled around my new job and other general topics. No, there wasn’t a large elephant in the room!

The night I had the conversation with my mother I couldn’t sleep. I was annoyed and angry. It was also very hot and humid so I spent the night twisting and turning, sweating. The next day I relaxed though and gained a better perspective. I also managed to put on my thicker skin. My father’s freaking out because he lives in a very homophobic environment. Because of him, my mother is afraid to reach out to me. However, I’m very certain that I am doing the right thing moving in with ‘JJ’. They can’t change my mind about this. I also have the support of my friends and my brother. I’m not going to apologise and be defensive about my decisions which are only affecting me at the end of the day.

I’m not going to stop talking to my parents. I love them and I know that in their own way they love me as well and want the best for me. The day before I left, I bought them a camera to start video calls. We haven’t tried it yet, but we will, probably this weekend.


  1. Half naked on the beach huh? What half was unclothed? ;)

    I hope things get better with your parents, it took mine a very long time. I hope they come around once they see how happy you are with JJ.

  2. I'm w/ Jim on this one, and ditto about you & your parents relationship.

  3. Thats one hell of a few days! I hope that it calms down - I was certainly lucky with my parents. They will come round. The way I think about it is that it took me a few years to come to terms with being gay, so perhaps it takes parents/friends/family the same amount of time.

  4. @Jim I was in a bathing suit. So everything above the waist line and my legs were bare. We'll see about my parents...

    @BosGuy Thanks... :-)

    @Stephen_Chapman It's been already two years since I came out to my parents. I can wait more...