I’ve noticed that as years passed, my tolerance and nerves evolved and changed. Nowadays, while I’m living my third decade on this world, I have to admit that I am not as fearless as I used to be. I’ve never been a carefree, reckless person. I always had my wits, being somewhat mature for my age. However, I was still fairly bold.
I’ll give you some examples. I’ve been travelling almost all my life. I boarded a plane for my first time when I was 8 and I’ve been flying ever since. I can still remember my first visit to the airport and how in awe I was of the big plane. I remember sitting by the window with my mother next to me and my first ever take off. I was extremely excited of this new experience. When the plane had to change course, I was on the side facing down. I completely loved it. I felt like superman, even feeling a bit light headed, facing the ground and the cars that looked so small.
Lately, I’ve noticed that I suffer from pre-trip jitters. I get a slight knot on my stomach just before take-off. It lasts only for some seconds and I try to ignore it by either looking out of the window, by reading a book or checking out other passengers. I think it’s completely ridiculous and embarrassing. I love travelling. I always had and I always will. It can’t be getting stressed, even slightly, for flying.
My second example is scary movies. I used to like watching them, although I never was a major fan. I’ve seen most old Carpenter or Clive Barker’s movies. ‘The shining’ and Hannibal series are one of my all-time classics. I’ve even enjoyed stuff like ‘Candyman’ or ‘Night of the living dead’. I have to admit that I had flinched while I was watching them, but it was never as bad as it is now.
I don’t know if contemporary horror movies evolved and changed to be more realistic and scarier. However, I have great difficulty in watching them. Yes, I have evolved into a wimp. Even watching some of their movie trailers is stressing. Especially if there are children evolved. Why do they put children in horror movies? To scare people you would say, but I just find it cruel!
Unfortunately, my better half loves them. He admits that sometimes he gets distressed but not that much and he loves the excitement. He even wants to go and see them in the cinema. That’s a definite no-no for me. There is nowhere to hide in a cinema theatre! There are not even pillows. In DVD I can watch almost everything from ‘Friday the 13th’ to ‘The Ring’ to ‘Saw’, although these movies wouldn’t be my first choice. But I could never go and watch ‘Paranormal Activity’ in the cinema. How about ‘Harry Potter’, I would suggest?
This scariness evolution must be normal, right? Children are considered generally fearless. They don’t recognise that climbing up there is simply dangerous! Gravity can be a real bitch. You get a better understanding of the real world growing up (although that is not very good in my opinion). I just hope I don’t turn into a manic phobic, being afraid of my own shadow.
I don’t think I’d easily sky dive, but I can be brave, right?