Monday, 7 December 2009

Something new…

I haven’t mentioned something but I’ve recently allowed someone new to enter my life (‘JJ’) and for the time being he’s turning it upside down in a very good way. OK, maybe the term ‘allowed’ is not correct or polite. But according to my standards, I’m devoting lots of time, energy and thoughts to him, in way I haven’t done before (which is a very good thing).

OK, let me make myself clear… My story is that I came to London more than a couple of years ago to make my life. I wanted to be independent, work on a career and a gay life I could never have in my hometown. I had a non existing personal life before coming here and I really wanted to come. The prospect of staying in Greece, at my parents’ place and being eternally single (tempting as it was) wasn’t enough. Fortunately, I’ve come a very long was way since then…

London for me was (especially at the beginning) what a toy store is to a five year old. It’s full of possibilities and experiences. (Most) gay people are in terms with their sexuality, not closeted and living a healthy prospering life. I started going to gay bars / clubs and dating guys after the first year I was here, timidly at the beginning but growing into it afterwards. I’m old enough (I hope) to put some boundaries and not get lost in alcohol and drugs and I always play safe, but I play nevertheless. I’m coming out of my shy shell and trying to see and do new stuff. I enjoy the flirting and dating…

That meant however that I had a very small interest span. I liked some guys I was seeing more than others (‘L’, ‘D’ and ‘Mr.T’ were some of them) but in a way, I wasn’t ready to commit to a serious relationship. I might have let some opportunities pass but I was still flirting and trying to see if there was something better out there. I hope however, that that is changing somehow because I’d like to give it a try and settle down and see what a serious relationship is all about.

So, back to ‘JJ’. I was talking to him online for a long period of time, since I was living at my old place. When, I moved houses, because I didn’t have internet connection, I gave him my mobile phone number and we started chatting and exchanging text messages. Then, I had internet connection, but my folks were here, so I was kind of busy. He was always polite, chatty, understanding and didn’t mind my reasons of not going out with him (“sorry, I can’t, I’m moving houses”, “sorry, I can’t, I have my parents visiting”, “sorry, I can’t, I’m waiting for the guy to fix my boiler” etc).
(I like to play it a bit hard-to-get you see).

Eventually, after all this time we finally went out last week. We had talked so much on the phone (and exchanged pictures) that when I saw him, I felt like I knew him for ages. Fortunately, we clicked really well. Since then, we met two more times and I’m seeing him for lunch as well today. That would be the fourth time I’m seeing him in 6 days and I can’t have enough. It’s funny (for me) but I feel nervous before going to see him.

Anyway, I don’t want to jinx it or anything, but I’m in a happy place at the moment. He seems to like me, I think I like him and I want to get to know him more. I’m trying to keep my enthusiasm restrained (you never know) about the whole thing but at the same time try to enjoy it (even if it doesn’t last long)…


  1. Cheers. I actually *want* to be where you were, getting out, experiencing life, building a network of new friends, and so on. I seem to have skipped from "closet" to "in a relationship."

  2. Woo hoo, congrats. Sounds like you really like him. I hope things work out for you. I would say just be natural. If you are excited then show it and just let things develop naturally. If he is ever to get to know the whole you, then there is no point holding things back about liking him a lot. He will probably be flattered by it, and if he isnt then you need to wonder why. Im sure things will be fine for you though :D


  3. woot woot! this sounds fun and exciting. all the best for you Nik :)

  4. @GJ It wasn't something planned. You must have been lucky though, relationships are not easy to find / keep.

    @Ry Thanks. We'll see how it goes. For the time being it's going well... :-)

    @wozzel cheers... :-D

  5. CONGRATULATIONS!!!! It tickled me to read that you are nervous about going see this new man. Awwwhhh... must be some pretty strong heart pitter patters going on there! ;)

  6. Hey Brett,
    thanks for that... I'll let you know how it's going...

  7. i know what you mean about a short attention span. i only recently have started opening myself up to experiencing the gay lifestyle in new york and i definitely get a sense that everyone has that feeling of wanting to see what else is out there before they settle down. i think i will be ready soon, but i know i still have a lot to learn.

    great to hear you may have found a good guy. :) hope it works out. xx

  8. Godfrey, thanks for that.
    For the time being things with JJ are going well.