but I wouldn’t like it otherwise… My week included champagne at Christie’s, Pink’s concert, working myself to bits with my trainer at the gym, going to the movies with JJ, having lots of sex with JJ (including in a public place) and also having JJ staying over at mine (for the first time). The latter happened yesterday, it wasn’t planned but proved to be very nice… Not to mention the projects I have yet to finish at work.
I met JJ after my gym workout and we headed to a nice pub close to mine. I was famished and devoured a huge dinner. At the beginning he suggested that he wasn’t hungry but he didn’t mind a couple of starters I got him… After the pub we went to mine for ‘desert’. It was quite fun (as always)…
Me: Thanks a lot for coming
Him: Is that cue for me to leave now?
Me: No, not at all. You can stay if you want / can
Him: OK (with a naughty grin on his face)
The reason of us not spending the whole night together before yesterday is that I only know him for a little bit more than a week. Also, I have this issue of not sleeping well with other people. It’s the whole feeing nervous or uncomfortable bit I’ve explained in the past. Most people like to cuddle to go to sleep. I don’t mind cuddling, but I really can’t fall asleep if someone touches me. I feel restrained, nervous that I might start snoring or that I might disturb them. That makes me not sleep well that ends at me being cranky in the morning. I didn’t want JJ to see me cranky so soon. He will see me eventually, but not yet… Maybe that will go away after I get used to have the same person sleeping next to me. We’ll see.
Yesterday was no exception. It took me ages to relax and fall asleep. I didn’t want to move not to disturb JJ’s sleep so I kept on listening to the traffic from outside. I know that I am being ridiculous but I can’t help it. I managed to get enough sleep though at the end.
Waking up with JJ next to me was really nice… He admitted waking up around 5:00am and snoozing after that. He was working morning shifts the last days and he couldn’t help waking up early. He did make the bed while I was in the shower, tidied up my room a bit (even put clothes in the laundry basket from the night before) and also started preparing tea! I was more than impressed. You don’t normally see this kind of things…
He is away for the weekend visiting a former housemate of his for her birthday. I’ll probably see him after Monday and not much the next week since I have a friend visiting and some Christmas gatherings to go to. That’s not a very bad thing, since I think that we saw each other too much the last week. OK, don’t get me wrong. I like him but I don’t want to ruin it by going too fast, too soon. Now, I feel like a twat for thinking like that but I really don’t want to get tired / bored of him and vice versa. It has happened in the past and I want this time to work.
I want him to miss me a bit and I want to miss him a bit. Is thinking like that wrong? Have I already lost the game?