Tuesday, 5 January 2010

Growing up…

For New Year’s Eve in 2000 I was in Zurich, Switzerland, with my parents celebrating the millennium extravaganza. In general, I was
  • 19 years old
  • In my second year in Polytechnic School trying to become a topographer / land surveyor / cartographer
  • I had a girlfriend called ‘Maria’ of already 3 months (we lasted 6 – don’t ask me how)
  • A frightened closeted gay (I couldn’t even speak to my closest and dearest friends)
  • Between partying and school, I remember worrying about my professional future and how I’d cope with my military service (the stories that were being repeated from the army were dreadful)
  • Quite insecure, not feeling good in my own skin and worried about what others thought of me
  • Not very close to my brother
OK, not everything was bad. I had a great time studying. It was the first time not living with my parents since I was studying in a different city and I liked the subjects I picked. That included staying up late watching the sunrise chatting with mates, partying until morning hours, going to gigs etc.

For New Years Eve in 2010 I was in my parent’s house (not that impressive) with friends and family.
I am
  • 29 years old
  • Having started a career in traffic engineering / software development
  • I (think I) have a boyfriend of (slightly over) a month
  • I am out to my parents, brother, colleagues and most of my friends. The rest that do not know, are people I don’t really care about
  • I am not that worried about the future and I know I survived the experience of being in the army
  • More secure and stable. I still care about what people think of me as long as these people are close friends or my brother
  • After my brother’s divorce and me coming out to him, we have a very good relationship that I know will last

I have some very nice things planned for 2010. After having successfully finished two 10k runs this autumn, I’ve already registered for a half marathon for charity in March. I am not training for it as much as I’d like (its freezing cold outside) but I hope that I’ll successfully finish it. I hope to be able to register this autumn for a whole marathon in London for spring 2011.

I also want to acquire an extra certificate to improve my software development skills before the end of summer and start looking for a job if things stay the same where I am now. I was promised in a way, some serious training and some improvement to my job title but I do not know if these will be delivered. We’ll see… The last training organized by my company was about ‘time management’. Yes, it was as ridiculous as it sounds…

Anyway, I’ve also recently done a review of the people I’ve slept with, cried for (not always literally) and spent many hours with in 2009. I don’t know if you are / were single that year, but it is quite fun doing a list like that. I am going to be amazingly honest with you and admit that I’ve ‘known’ eleven men this year including all one night stands I’ve had. I’m not really the type of person that will regularly go to a club / bar to hook up with men and I don’t sleep with people on a first date (that doesn’t always happen). I don’t know if that number is too big or too small (and I don’t care that much to be honest – it’s just a fact). On average is a little less than one guy per month which doesn’t sound that many, especially according to some gay standards. Some of these men are actually the same as 2008 (I always end up things in a civil way leaving a door of communication open). Thankfully, I remember all of their names and some background information on them. So, what’s your magic number? (please don’t make me sound like a slut)


  1. It's amazing how much a persons life can change in the space of a decade. I bet back then as the shy 19 year old you never thought you would be where you are now. Onwards and upwards.


  2. wow. what a long way you have come! THAT IS SO AWESOME and i wish you all the best for 2010! let this be a year of awesomeness for all!

  3. hold on, i can't figure out my number, don't think i have enough fingers... um carry the four, minus six, times by three...

    standard grade maths...hmmm... yeah, think i'll keep that number to myself.

    don't worry, you're not a slut!


  4. Army? What was that like? Let us know sometime? :-)

  5. Yes, give us a post about the καταραμένη θητεία some time. Πως άντεξες, ρε; I'd have gone fucking insane.

  6. Thank you guys on the comments...

    I've mentioned briefly my military training in August in 'Insomnia'.
    Since you're asking though, I can be more detailed in an upcoming post...

  7. Happy New Year Nik,
    I hope it's a great year for you. I enjoy the honesty of your blog and NO, you're not a slut.

  8. You know, I had a similar experience. ;-) I was 17 (and am now 27, lol) but was just about to finish High School, and so on...

    After I came out to my brother, our relationship improved by at least an order of magnitude. We went from antagonizing each other (we never fought outright -- we just let things simmer and fester) to having what I think most *normal* siblings have (rivalry, chivalry, a unified front against the parents, lol).

  9. my magic number since 2003 is 1... too bad- i did flirting around but nobody wants me i assume!

  10. What a difference a decade makes.

    I started my post about the same, but gave up. Reading yours makes me feel I should complete it.

    Eleven men, I suspect that for single gay men that is very respectable.

    More interesting is why you think that might make you slutty, I mean, what values you apply, why you apply them and where they come from.

    If you think about these you might come to the view that it makes no sense to judge yourself by those values; they may be irrelevant if you think about them.



  11. @Juz Thanks. No, I didn't mean the 'slut' comment that seriously. I'm not really worried. I know how to make my choices and live with them…

    @GJ I’m in that spot now with my brother. We used not to get along very well. Now, we speak very frequently, even just for a sec to say that we’re OK. I do value his opinion and I know he’ll be there for me if I need to.

    @Suf_n_Steve. I can’t believe that nobody wants you and it is very sweet that your magic number is 1. If I could, I would have stayed at 1…

    @MadeInScotland I’ll be waiting for your post.
    You raise an interesting question though. I was brought up in a Christian Orthodox environment (as most Greeks do). It’s very conservative especially in small towns and villages. Being gay means that you get a first class ticket to Hell. Having premarital sex and also changing a number of sex partners a year, grants you probably free champagne, extra meal, exclusive service and I don’t know what else in the same train (to Hell).
    If that is true, at least I’ll be seeing a lot of my friends there… :-)