This is officially the ‘moving together’ month. At the end of it, I will have packed my things and moved in with ‘JJ’ after kicking out his current housemate and leaving my poor current flatmate high and dry. Yes, we can be bitchy like that. Unfortunately they don’t like each other that much to move in together. ‘JJ’s housemate decided that he will buy a property in the near future so he’s moving back to his parents’ for a short while to gather some money. What’s really funny is the fact that his parents don’t want him back, but that’s a different long story. My flatmate decided that she will find a place of her own. Maybe I was too perfect of a flatmate to be replaced (or I damaged her that much).
When it comes to those new living arrangements there are many issues (maybe issues is a very harsh word) that I do not know where to start elaborating my thoughts. Let me start by repeating that I’ve never lived with a boyfriend before. That unknown element terrifies me to a degree. Being a worrying person I can’t help but think about all the things that can go wrong. There are so many what ifs that drive me crazy:
“What if he gets bored of me?” “What if I get bored of him?”
“What if we get into a stupid routine alienating each other?”
“What if my inexperience gets the worst of me and I do something stupid?”
“What if I start feeling trapped, feeling like I do not have enough space and I reacted stupidly?”
That last bit of possible lack of space is something I do think a lot. Since I haven’t lived with someone I’m not used of sharing my bed / room etc. every single day! Will it be an issue? Who knows?
On the same negative page is the issue I have with my parents. My mother has already reacted negatively to the prospect. She even mentioned that she’s terrified of even telling my father. That conversation didn’t go that well and I’m not looking forward to having it again. Of course I’m not going to lie to them or hide anything, I’m not 12 anymore. However, where I come from (yes, here I go again, don’t roll your eyes) moving in with someone is a much larger issue. Generally younger generations leave their parents’ house in most cases when it comes to get married. To
give you an idea, even my brother moving in with his girlfriend was an issue. Living with someone makes the relationship permanent and more serious to the older generations. I have a much thicker skin than before. I know the reasons of my choice and it is not negotiable. I will not be defensive. I do not care what the relatives will say or what their friends think. It just saddens me a bit nonetheless.
Is that a look of disapproval?
On the other positive and important hand, living with JJ is an adventure I am so looking forward to begin! I can’t help but feel very excited about it. I want to set a proper home with him. I want to spend more time in a house that will be our house. I want to feel that I belong to that place, with him. Fortunately, he is as excited.
Since yesterday, some first preparations have already begun to set the new foundations for our new house. JJ of course wants to make vast changes to it. If he could, he would demolish the whole place and rebuild it. Apart from some simple things like cleaning or repainting, he wants to change plumbing, insulations, wallpapers, electronics etc. I’m trying to keep him grounded and set some priorities according to our budget though.
So, yesterday he mentioned that it was time to get started. The month will pass without us noticing. So, we started by cleaning the back garden and painting the door and windows facing it. I put on his working clothes (I didn’t want to make my clothes dirty), made sure my hairy crack was visible as a proper technician and I got to work. I painted the back door! I know it’s not much but prior to yesterday I hadn’t done any DIY in years. I have to admit it’s very therapeutic even for half an hour’s work. Next step will be to paint one wall of the living room and the front door. I’m not Bob the Builder yet but I’m getting there.
Who said that geeks can’t get physical?