Wednesday, 16 March 2011

The Coming Out Meme

I'm taking this interesting meme from 'Patently Queer', who took it from 'The state of Nation UK', who...
You know how it goes:

Name: Nik
Country: UK
Age: 30
How old were you when you first realized you were gay? I had a ‘revelation’ moment at 21 when someone told me ‘you’re gay’. I knew that moment that I could never go back and my world changed. I described that story here.
Do you have more gay friends or straight friends? I believe straight
Biggest turn on? Blue eyes. Humour. Hairy chest
Biggest turn off? Arrogance. Hypocrisy. People with attitude
Ever been harassed due to your orientation? No. Luckily, I wasn’t bullied at school but I was called names in some occasions even before I suspected I was gay.
Have you ever been surprised at the reaction of people who know you are gay? Yes, surprised that they already suspected and simply didn’t care
What is the worst gay stereotype? Drug taking, promiscuous behavior.
Are you a stereotype? Nope
Ever been to a pride rally? Twice in London since I moved here
Do you go to gay bars? Rarely. There isn’t a decent one in the neighborhood and I don’t really see the point of travelling all the way to the city centre for a drink that I could have with friends in my area. I will go to a gay club to dance though sometimes.
How old were you when you first told someone you were gay? 21
Did you plan it? If so, how? I planned it. I needed to put it out of my chest. I took my female best friend of the time for a drink. I made a huge introduction about admitting something really serious and I blurred it out. By the time I admitted it she was scared shitless that I had a very serious health problem that she actually told me off for making the situation so grave.
What made you choose that person to tell? She was my best friend at the time. She still is one of my best friends.
How did you feel? Very relieved that she took it so well. I feared the worse. I made scenarios in my mind about her not talking to me ever again
Have you ever been snubbed by someone after coming out to them? No
Have you come out to your family? Yes. They are not totally OK with it, but we’re getting there. It just needs time
Why did you come out at that point? I was financially and personally stable. I had come to terms with it and I couldn’t hide any more.
Are you out at work? Yes
If not, why not?
If you’ve been outed unwillingly, who did it? It was unwillingly and I was outed by another gay colleague. It's all explained here. It was for the best though.
What does being out mean to you? I believe that every gay person has to go through a process of accepting who they are. For some that process takes longer and is tougher. For others it’s easier. Being out means that at least you’ve accepted the truth and you are willing to share it with the rest of world.
What advice would you give someone wanting to come out? Do not worry so much about it. Most people might already suspect or know. You will feel so much better after coming out that is all worth whatever risk there might be. In due time, it will definitely be for the best. It all gets better
If you could do it all again, would you do it any differently? If so, how? I made my choices and I know the reasons I had for taking them. I don’t think I would have done it differently.

I believe this song is relevant.

Unfortunately in my PC at the moment there is no audio output, so I can't check its quality. If it's bad let me know and I'll change it.


  1. nice :)

    I like this. Did one too :)

    ps - i love the song.

  2. That's a good meme. A lot of it reminds me of what I went through/did... I might copy the meme on my blog ;-)

  3. Great post! Thanks for sharing

  4. Thanks for sharing! You'll get there with you're family!

  5. Hmm. Will be copying this when I have a moment. ;-)

  6. Very good Nik. And thanks for the links to the previous posts.