Wednesday, 1 December 2010


It’s the first of December and we need to talk about HIV. As I mentioned last year when I did a similar post, I don’t know much about it compared to other people. I don’t live with it and I thank whatever Greater Power there is out there in the universe that I haven’t lost anyone to it.

What I know though is the need to get frequently tested. Before getting into a monogamous relationship, I used to go twice per year. I now go less frequent often than that but we still always use a condom because you can never know.

According to BBC news the numbers of new HIV positive cases have diminished the last four years. However, they estimate that twenty thousand people do not even know that they have the virus. So, this kind of statistics can be far from the truth. There is an interesting article here.

I know a guy in my circle of friends. His gay brother has been positively diagnosed a couple of years ago, so you can’t really say that he is unfamiliar with this plague. However, that doesn’t stop him from having unprotected sex in saunas, cruising grounds and bars. I really can’t understand what is going through his mind. He is supposed to be a mature 40 something guy with a successful career and a respectable sum of money in his bank account (not that this changes much). It’s like a time bomb waiting to be detonated. It’s not a matter of ‘if’ it will be detonated, it’s ‘when’.

His special case of dangerous living made me think about the immature and auto destructive tendencies that some gay people have. This is another huge issue to discuss but unfortunately drugs, alcohol and unprotected sex are connected and can be linked to very low self esteem and insecurities.

Another thing that is worrying is the fact that younger generations are not well informed. They do believe that AIDS is something of the past, not directly affecting them. They also think that a cure will be found soon and that the new drug cocktails will keep them almost ‘healthy’ till then. This ignorance can be very dangerous.

I don’t know how the already infected people feel this day and I wish to them all the best. We should always remember though that they are not the enemy, the virus is.


  1. "...younger generations are not well informed. They do believe that AIDS is something of the past, not directly affecting them."

    Amen. Here in the U.S. many young people think HIV is manageable with expensive maintenance drugs that the government pays for. Well guess what? That all came to a screeching halt this year when states ran out of money. Many or most states no longer take new people into the AIDS drug system and in fact don't even keep a waiting list for new people because, as they say, it isn't right to give people false hope of getting in.

    My fear is that a new round of AIDS deaths is coming due to the fact that all these newly infected guys will not have any drugs available to them, unless they are rich and can buy it themselves.

    The current AIDS drugs that have proven so effective don't fall out of patent protection for 7 more years, at which time cheap generic versions will become available. But until then, what's to be done?

    (Sorry for the overly long comment)

  2. @Cubby Don't mention it. Thanks for that comment. I am not sure how the drugs are generally distributed. I thought that they would be very expensive, especially the new and better ones...

  3. You still use condoms, even now when married? How long into a relationship should one stop using them?


    1. RJ, that's a very tricky question. Every situation is different and also each individual should live with the consequences of his own choices. I can't really tell you what to do, but I can only tell what I did.
      I think JJ and I stopped using condoms at least a couple of years after we met. We had agreed we'd have a monogamous closed relationship and were also both tested for HIV and other infections. By that time, we were in the relationship for more than a year but didn't stop using condoms then. We were tested for our own peace of mind.
      Why do you ask?

    2. I just hate using condom, even when I know it will keep me safe. A recent survey showed at least half of those who use mobile apps such as Grindr bareback. To be honest, I don't think I trust myself to be safe 100% of the time all the time. I would want to stop using condoms with my partner after a few months. However you make me want to reconsider. I think I can relate to the self destructive tendencies you talk about. Maybe I need help, who knows. But what I do know is, I find it almost impossible to stop barebacking.