Friday, 12 August 2011

Reading letters

I think I’ve mentioned it before, but I regularly read a UK magazine called ‘Attitude’. It’s not like I appreciate that much its high quality. There are some articles like what ‘Jedward’ see in their mirror or the fashion section that leave me amazingly indifferent if not sick. However, once in a blue moon there are things there that trigger my interest, like Ewan McGregor’s latest interview. I am a book worm so I really have a need to browse through magazines and read some of them each month.

In the latest issue, there was a letter from a ‘reader’ (who knows if he really exists) worrying about his age difference with his lover. He mentions that he is in his late 50s, divorced with an ex-wife and maybe children (I can’t remember at the moment). His partner is nearly 30 years old. Although they do manage to find some common ground and communicate they are in different stages in their lives with the older man living a much quieter life and the youngster still clubbing with everything included like drugs and alcohol. The writer of the letter would like to know if the relationship is doomed anyway and that he shouldn’t even try to make it work.

Although this type of letters I generally find pointless, even idiotic, since each case and individual is different and there is no point in generalising, I went through the reply. No one can say to you whether you should or shouldn’t stay in a relationship and judge your case like that. The reply mentions mutual understanding, communication and the various other vague things. It states that the chances are the same for each relationship no matter the age difference.

What caught my eye though is the fact that the reply talks about a minority of youths who are not interested in drugs and getting drunk all the time, who he mentions as ‘old souls’! I’m not exactly sure how much of a minority these people are but anyway. That statement made me think that I am an old soul as well and I’m totally fine by it. I don’t know if that makes me a boring person but I don’t really care. Last month, when I was in Santorini, for JJ’s birthday we took the catamaran around the islands. We met there two American married couples, one of which was gay. From the two, one of the gays was the extravert, social one. He was the one doing most of the talking with stories regarding drunken nights and past experiences. After dinner, he took out a small medicine bottle and offered us some pills! As simple as that. I immediately said no, as did JJ and the girl from the third couple. Her husband however accepted one. He did mention the name of the pill, which was some kind of a nerve relaxing drug as JJ later told me.

Since we didn’t accept his pills, we were instantly categorized as the uncool people. He generally stopped addressing to us any questions and gradually excluded us from the conversation. It’s not like I felt offended or anything, I simply felt that it was rude and laughed about it with JJ later. As a person I don’t think I would ever accept an unknown pill from someone I’ve just met an hour ago. I don’t know if that makes me a spoilsport or reasonable. Even when I was younger, the rare occasions I got drunk, I never did it without a safety net, some close friends I trusted that they could take care of me. I’ve never done ‘proper’ drugs and I never thought I’ve missed anything. Maybe I am an old soul. Maybe it will come and haunt me later, becoming a crazy man during my midlife crisis…


  1. I'm in the same boat with you. I've always stayed away from doing stuff other than what was prescribed to me.

    And there's nothing wrong with being an old soul.

  2. I like that you're an old soul, to me it shows that you're happy with who you are and know what you like. I think drugs and alcohol are an escape for people from the mundane things in their lives, when they come down from their high or sober up those same issues and mundane life is still there. It's best just to accept and be content with life as it it.

    Great post Nik!

  3. Twenty year age difference? The relationship is doomed.

  4. I've always enjoyed being in a relationship with older men; I think it would have been worth ppointing out to the letter writer than in terms of how long he has been out, and his 'gay' life experiences, he is probably the younger personality in the relationship. Nevertheless, I am engaged to a younger guy now and I think we're both 'old souls'.. or maybe we just got hedonism out of our respective systems when we were teens and tweens. I don't think I would have taken a random pill from a stranger; and still less taken kindly to being shunned for not being 'cool'!

    Mike (for some reason blogger won't let me post comments with my account!!)

  5. An old soul? Perhaps. A good decision-maker? Definitely! Life is all about options -- sometimes we take the high road, sometimes the not-so-high...but i'm not about taking foolish or potentially harmful risks. Count me in your corner!

  6. @Erik_Rubright.. That's nice. It's always good not to be the only one. :-)

    @Jim That's a very nice way of putting it. I generally do feel good in my skin. As everybody I do have my insecurities of course...

    @cb I don't think we'll ever find out

  7. @Mike (1) JJ is older by 6 - 7 years than me. I don't think it's ever been an issue. Not only that, I think I'm the 'older' in the relationship sometimes...

    @Mind_of_mine lol... I can understand...

    @Mike (2) As Erik said, it's nice knowing that I'm not the only one. Yes, I agree. Life is a series of choices...
    (I've numbered you by time of comment) :-p

  8. "old soul" sounds a lot like 'maturity' and 'sensibility'
    I wouldn't see this as something shameful !

  9. I'm of the opinion that most bloggers are old souls. It practically requires being an old soul to continually write and publish our works of personal introspection.

  10. old soul does not make you boring! wheather taking drugs or not if your trying to "fit in" those are the arrogant but deep inside insecure dudes who will find out eventually how much of their life they wasted. You try to create yourself meanwhile figuring out what life is about. I believe old souls have what I like to call the "shining" wisdom that is not only earned but born with. Its a beautiful thing, like charisma. You old souls need to show the blind world what you see, charisma is only one step away...