There is something I’ve been thinking about lately, which I’m not sure how to describe because I don’t want to appear petty or jealous or something. I have mentioned in the past that I’ve been working out with a friend of mine (‘gb’) when we have our personal trainer sessions. It’s very nice sharing the PT. We might accomplish a bit less than working out alone, but at least it’s more fun and not to mention cheaper. I don’t have that much in common with gb though. He’s a very nice guy and a good friend, but he can be too much of an attention seeker. He loves being the centre of attention, a party animal and constant club goer. He’s very fit and loves the gay scene and everything related. He is considered what I call an alpha gay, one of the people with the six packs who always manages to lose his t-shirt now and then to slightly show off.
‘Gb’ is of course not the only one in this category of people. He surrounds himself with similar people, some of which tend to be ridiculously superficial and fixated on looks. OK, I don’t know if surrounds is the right word, but at least he knows a few (many). He’s a gym bunny, so he knows lots of people that spend all their lives in the gym. The last time I went clubbing with him, he said hello to everybody missing various pieces of clothes and striking poses on the dance floor. I couldn’t but keep rolling my eyes to the things I heard. They’re like a brotherhood and you can only get access according to the muscle ratio of your body.
Since I am more of the nerdy / geeky and bearish kind of guy, I don’t generally fit in. I don’t put that much attention to my looks. Maybe I’m wrong and I should, but each to their own. I refuse for example to use an eyelash curler that I’ve seen a guy use in the gym. It’s getting a bit too much. However, what I refuse to accept is being openly rude and degrading. And I don’t even care much when that rudeness is targeting me. However, some things make me furious. I’ll give you a couple of examples.
While at the gym’s locker room, we had just finished our session and gb and I were getting ready to leave. One, of his friends, I’ll call him Ben, arrived and came over to talk to him. I was in my towel getting changed and the distance between me and a normal twink was very obvious. Ben gave me a very criticising look and checked me up from head to toes. ‘Gb’ introduced us, but Ben started talking to him only in French, completely ignoring me. Apparently, I wasn’t good enough. I can speak French, so I could understand what he was saying anyway (not anything of any importance) but that rudeness was inexplicable. Since then, I still run into Ben at the gym, but he pretends he doesn’t know me, which is fine by me. I don’t believe I’m missing much.
Recently, I met a new of my personal trainer’s clients. He’s from the northern part of England who just moved to London and just went through a very bad breakup. He was in a relationship for more than 6 years that ended badly. His confidence was hit very hard and he’s looking for a new start. He’s what you call a very nice and sweet guy. He needs to create a new circle of friends, get out more and meet someone new. I don’t know many available single gay guys to introduce him, but I tried to take him out for a few drinks and talk about things. At some point however he mentioned that some of the people that gb tried to introduce to him, the alphas of our gym, were a bit patronising and made him feel really bad about himself!!! That fact really annoyed me. I can imagine them being like hyenas picking on the weak of the herd.
I’m not really sure, what I’m trying to say with this post. Of course not every ‘alpha’ is a horrible superficial person. I don’t even know if I can define an alpha gay guy properly. Maybe I could say he’s the leader of group, the captain of the rugby club like in an American high school or the leader of the cheerleaders. And it’s not only the twinks with leaders and trends. I assume bear groups can be as nasty as well. The gay scene can be ridiculously superficial, fixated on looks and mean. Maybe that doesn’t apply only to the gay scene, but sometimes on society overall. Why so much jealousy, misanthropy and meanness.