Monday 4 August 2014

Groundbreaking Developments

I have mentioned in the past that my family is not very accepting of the fact that I’m gay, living with ‘JJ’. It’s been 5 years this month that I came out to them as mentioned here. Since then, I tried to reconcile things with the most recent incident last spring. When I visited Athens with JJ in June I had invited my parents to meet JJ over a coffee and they declined. I know that the main reason they both keep their distance is my father and my mother doesn’t want to confront him. They generally never argue and try hard to maintain the same attitude over family matters. So, while my father never talks to me about personal stuff, he concentrates more on professional matters, my mother will ask about Jeff, my life, the new house, the dog etc.


Last winter when we rebuilt the roof in the house, my mother had mentioned coming to help out during the works. To be honest however, there was no need for any extra help. The builders came, finished their work, packed their mess and left. But I realised that she might need an excuse to come over and visit us. She worries about my wellbeing and an excuse like that we could work against my father or even herself.

So, now that we’re planning the next step major step on refurbishing the house, installing central gas heating, I asked for her help. Again, I don’t think that we’ll really need it. We’re planning already on how to remove the flooring where the pipes will go and how to cover, protect, the furniture. On the contrary having an extra person in the house with all the builders might be an obstacle. I believe that it will be easier for the builders for us to be out of their way, but the benefits outmatch the negatives. And the most surprising thing is that she agreed!



During mid-September, for a whole week, my mother will visit us! I’m extremely excited and terrified of the event. I don’t really need my mother’s approval for the life I've setup in London. I have the confidence that I've made the right decisions and created something that makes me so happy that I shouldn't really care. But that doesn't mean that I don’t want that approval. I want her to get along with JJ, like the house and fall in love with Penny.


Generally, for Greek standards this next step we're taking is unbelievable. The vast majority of Greek gay friends I have are deep locked in the closet. They're in hiding of their personal preferences and life, which is very sad. I have mentioned in the past that the Greek community is in general very short sighted and conservative. Forget about Mykonos and what was happening in Ancient Greece. Nowadays, the number of openly gay public figures and good role models is very limited and the common general opinion is very negative and organised religion plays a huge part in that. In a way, I'm proud of my parents and the things we've achieved, even if it has taken us some time to reach this point.

For the week that she’ll be here, I've taken the days off work. We’re not planning any holidays with JJ anyway. With all our money spent on the house, we can’t really afford them. So, I have so many extra days of holidays I really need to book, otherwise I’ll lose them. I've also booked a special Sunday brunch and ticket to a musical. I know she likes them and hoping to be thrilled when she finds out. JJ’s equally excited. He’s created a list of things we need to do to prepare the house for her arrival. He’s also trying to learn everyday Greek expressions to talk to her, even though she speaks English fluently, even if we a heavy Greek accent.

Deep down I know that it will be all fine, but at the same time I can’t help but worry a little bit.

8 comments:

  1. Good luck, Nik! I hope everything goes really well with your mom.

    You will LOVE central heat! I had it installed after about 3 years of far more expensive, and far less efficient heaters.

    Peace <3
    Jay

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    1. Thank you.
      Yes, I believe that installing central heating is the best thing to do at the moment. I can't wait. It's been getting cold here in London already...

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  2. I think this is a great step for your mom! And for you... I'm sure everything will work out just fine and she will have a great time visiting you and JJ! Keep us posted on how it goes!

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    1. I will let you know. Thanks... I hope it will be fine. :-)

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  3. That is great news. I'm sure she will see how much JJ cares for you and that will mean the world to a worried Mom who frets about her son's health and distance from home.

    I'm very happy for you.

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    1. That is quite true actually. JJ does take care of me and makes me so happy... :-D

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  4. wow what great development, exciting and scary. I"ve heard this all before many times; it takes time, the first steps are awkward. good luck.

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    1. It took us almost 5 years to get to this part.
      The good thing is that when she comes, there is nowhere to hide. She'll be staying with us for a whole week. At some point she'll relax and hopefully enjoy her stay.

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