Olympian gods

I was thinking that it would be interesting if I stopped being a Christian (as a matter of speech) and devoted myself to the Olympian gods. Out of the 12 playing in the major league (there are hundreds in the minor leagues) I would have to find the One, to whom I would devote my life to. That’s not an easy decision though. I would have to deny myself and my needs and dedicate myself completely to a god or goddess, something like dating (yeah, right). So, which god would I date / surrender to?

Zeus (archaeological museum of Athens, 460BC)

Zeus is the ultimate god who rules them all! It would be cool to be with him. Think of the status! However he’s so full of himself! He’s been screwing everything from males, females to relatives, even animals! His sexual desires are uncontrollable…

Hera is the sister and wife of Zeus. She’s generally portrayed as nice and earnest. Probably because no one wanted to do something to cross her! Her jealousy over Zeus and vengefulness is well known! Simply ask Heracles! The poor boy without any fault of his own was the bastard son of Zeus. Hera wanted so badly to kill him! Or ask her son Hephaestus who suffered at her hands.

Poseidon is the god of the seas and also controls the earthquakes. He’s generally a nice guy and I do love the sea and everything related to it. However, think of the smell! He must stink like dead fish, seaweed and nets all the time!

Demeter is the goddess of harvest and agriculture. She’s generally a nice lady. She hasn’t caused much stir in the past, as far as I know. If you’re into a calm life in a farm or cottage, that’s the girl for you.

Athena is the goddess of wisdom, culture and justice. She helped Athens prosper to an incredible degree back then. That sounds all too nice but I fear that she is miss know-it-all to an infuriating degree! Who wants to associate with someone who believes they are right all the time? And what’s worse? She is right all the time?

Apollo of Belvedere

Apollo is the god of arts, medicine and prophecies. He is handy to have around since he can foretell the future. Homer didn’t really like him and pictured him horribly during the Trojan Wars but that’s probably a personal opinion.

Artemis is the goddess of hunting and birth. I don’t know that much about her, but I think that she’s generally well liked. However, it is believed that she killed her companion Orion which sounds a bit fishy.

Ares is the god of war! A feisty strategist with many scars and tales to tell. He does sound experienced in life and interesting. However, he seems very strong willed and stubborn. He’s not an easy person to deal with.

Venus de Mylo (100 BC)

Aphrodite is the goddess of beauty, love and pleasure. Who wouldn’t like that? She’s generally prone to temptation and she likes to create a stir. She can also be jealous of other women and mean. Look what happened to poor Psyche.

Hephaestus is the god of construction, metallurgy and fire. He is the craftsman of the gods. Unfortunately his appearance is a bit distorted and he looks a bit like the hunchback of Notre Dame. Zeus married him to Aphrodite as a solution to prevent conflicts between the other gods because he didn’t think that highly of him! I generally like him. He’s the geek of the gods.

Dionysus is the god of performing arts, hedonism and wine. He is the centre of the party and knows how to enjoy himself. Celebrations in his name in most cases ended in massive orgies and parties that lasted for days. Although appealing as an idea, I fear it might be much for me.

Hermes with baby Dionysus by Praxiteles (343 BC) 

Hermes is the messenger of the gods, he’s the guide to the underworld and he’s the god of trade and speech among lots of other things. In my opinion, he’s a very interesting and complex character. With all this running around he must also be very fit. Various stories are linked to him. To give you an idea he’s the father of Tyche (Luck) and Hermaphroditus (with Aphrodite) where the word hermaphrodite comes from all these years ago. He is the god I’d probably choose if I had to make a selection.