Monday, 30 November 2009

Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars, Gays are from?

I might be talking bullshit (nothing out of the ordinary) and I don't want to offend anyone, but:

As I’ve mentioned recently, we got internet connection at my new place now. So, I spent some time wandering around to various silly websites. One, of the websites I checked is ‘craiglist’. I don’t know why but I don’t use this website often. I’m familiar with ‘gumtree’ but not with ‘craiglist’...

Anyway, in case you haven’t checked, there are personal ads there as well. I don’t want to comment on the fact about the existence of these ads. What I want to comment is the difference of the ads themselves between gay people, straight men and straight women!

First category – straight men:

There are some ads that are slightly naughty and a bit cheeky like ‘Come to my office for interview. :-)’. There are some slightly more romantic declaring they want a relationship / romance like the ‘young professional male seeks women for romance’. Although he does mention ‘women’ instead of ‘woman’…
In general, I think that sex is implied but never mentioned directly. Some men mention that they are looking for relationship. Most pictures attached are very generic of couples holding hands, faces or even landscapes. Some are slightly more naughty with genitalia shown.

Second category - straight women:

Most of the times a relationship is wanted. Sex rarely is implied and never directly. For example even the post about ‘visiting woman in London’ is about advice where to go and what to do, not for sex as my dirty mind thought at first. There are even some ads about the knight in the shining armor. Women as expected are in general more romantic and frank. Women talk about how good they are in housekeeping and how they can be a loyal companion to lonely hearts. Even the ones asking for a one night stand do it in a classy, subtle manner…

Third Category – gay men:

As seen here words like ‘wank’, ‘suck’, ‘horny’, ‘cocksucker’ and ‘arse’ are mentioned. Sex is bluntly offered with no strings attached. Vast majority of the pictures attached are (as expected) of naked people in various forms of ‘entertainment’. Sometimes you have to admire some people’s creativity in taking pictures…
You really have to look for words like ‘relationship’, ‘companionship’ or ‘date’ which are not easily found. This is not something unexpected if you are gay and been around just a while (not a lot). However, I find it a little bit sad. There are gay people out there wanting more than a blowjob in a Eurostar train. How difficult is it for them to find it?
And even if you are one of the adventurous ones needing a shag in the train home, is that bad? Do you lose your dignity by trying to get what you want?
And it’s not like gay men are sexually repressed and can only find sex online… From ‘grindr’ to dark rooms, sex is everywhere… I’m not a sociologist or a psychologist but it troubles me a bit. A gay man’s sexuality, in a way, defines a major part of his life, but to what extend?

I’ve also checked the ‘women seeking women’ link. There are so few ads there. On average, each day of the week has one or two ads tops. Aren’t there enough lesbians to post ads or do they just find other ways to look for what they want?

(I do apologise for the quality of the print previews)

Friday, 27 November 2009

Friday happiness

I just received one of the most wonderful text messages for the past days: ‘Great news-you are now connected to O2 Broadband. You may now plug in, run the CD and enjoy! Thanks O2.’
I can now try finding my laptop, removing the dust that is covering it and turn it on after being neglected for days. I think that’s the longest I’ve ever left it off. Last time I used it was on Sunday when I took it to the local pub that has wireless internet connection!

On a totally different issue, I went running this morning before work. I normally don’t do that because the idea of me going outside in shorts that early, with this cold, is not pleasant. The transition from being under the duvet to going running by the river is very difficult. However, with all my evenings spent with my parents I have to do some kind of exercise in the morning. In addition, I’m beginning to freak out a bit regarding my half marathon race in three months. Excluding the (at least) two weeks of overeating and overdrinking of the holiday season, I don’t have much time left. I am not being delusional about being nice and not eating too much during my holidays spent in Greece. So, I want to get some proper exercise before mid December and get back on track beginning of next year.

That means that I should get over myself and start running at least three times per week and it would be better done in the morning to have my evenings free. So, I was thinking that in order to get myself more motivated I should try buying new running gear. I need proper warmer running clothes for my upper body, running gloves and some long tights (OF COURSE to wear under my shorts). I also need to download and update my ipod music collection that I listen to during running. Maybe a pedometer? I’m gay, I like these kind of things (gadgets, accessories, new clothes).
I began running in May and I do not have winter running equipment…

One of the main reasons I like running is that it clears your mind and you can get a new perspective on certain things. After finishing the first couple of miles, your body goes in ‘autopilot’, running mode, without much thinking over it letting your mind wander. So, this morning I was thinking of the ‘Essex Boy’ in combination with the movie ‘He’s just not that into you’ (bad combination). The movie is not that great but it does put some things under consideration…

The last time I saw him was the previous Wednesday (almost 10 days ago). I sent him a text last Friday to see how he’s doing. He replied a few hours later saying that he’s having an awful day at work and would need a pint afterwards. I invited him over to come with my mates since we were going for a pint anyway. He replied to the invitation around midnight (a little bit too late). God forbid he couldn’t come and meet some of my friends. I’ve never met some of his also. I then contacted him on Tuesday evening to see how’s he doing and his replies were a bit weird that included words like ‘yo morfo’ (= hello, mother fucker), so I guessed before telling me that he was out for drinks.

He comes from a rough area (in Essex) and I know that that’s his weird sense of humour (I hope) and calling me a mother fucker is actually exchanging pleasantries. However, that’s not me. I’m more polite as a person and he just seems to be underestimating me. Anyway, I don’t want to sound like I’m a desperate complaining bitch (again) but I start to think the whole ‘he’s just not that into you’ business. If he was ‘into’ me, wouldn’t he try a little bit harder?

I just find him difficult to understand. I still don’t know what he’s looking for and what he wants from me. Is it just sex? Is he content with talking just once per week to arrange a weekly getting together or even less frequent that always ends up in sex? It would be easier if I only knew what he wanted. Could it be that he doesn’t know what he wants himself? (most likely)

Anyway, I’m finishing this complaining / projecting insecurities extravaganza. ‘Essex boy’ is old enough to make is decisions. I will not stay put waiting for him. I’ll try to go out with someone that shows a little bit more interest in me just because I deserve it…
(OK, I’m officially losing it)

Thursday, 26 November 2009

Thanksgiving… what?

I’m sorry but I am totally oblivious about this holiday. I’m Greek living in London, so what I know about this holiday mostly comes from ‘Friends’ episodes and other TV series... I know that it involves family fights over turkey eating. What first comes to my mind is the story of ‘Chandler’ describing how he was told of his parent’s divorce and so he was boycotting all related food. What second comes to my mind is ‘Wednesday Adams’ forced to take part in Thanksgiving festivities in summer camp. Finally, I remember Holly Hunter trying to survive her ‘Home for the Holidays’ trip.

So, you can see that I am bit puzzled about the whole thing…

What else I find very funny about it, is the President of the United States giving pardon to a Turkey. Honestly? So what happens to the turkey afterwards? Is it not slaughtered in the years to come? Do they have a back garden in the White House where all these pardoned turkeys live happily ever after? OK, I admit each nation has its own weird customs (I am one to know).

In theory, I believe it is a very good thing remembering the reasons we should be thankful for and not just during this day. Also I believe that any reason to gather the family around the same table is good for me.

However the story of the pilgrims inviting Native Americans for dinner is hypocritical to say the least. Everybody knows how much they loved each other during these years.

Anyway… I am probably being plain mean because I am working today when I could use a bank holiday and I shouldn’t.
Fellow Americans have a nice ‘Thanksgiving Day’!

Wednesday, 25 November 2009


I’m waiting for my parents to come and visit me for a week starting today. It’s going to be an interesting week since now it’s the first time I’ll be seeing them after I came out to them in summer. I really don’t know what to expect. In the past when they visited me, I had the usual talk about when I’m going to find a nice wife, go back to Greece, if I’m truly happy with my life and all the rest. I don’t know why but they had the impression that I didn’t like living in London and somehow I was forced to stay. Maybe they were just projecting their fears and worries saying that.

So, I’ve been making some preparations before their visit. Thankfully enough they are the type of people that like their independence. They’ll be staying in a hotel (I wouldn’t expect it otherwise) and they know their way around. Both speak the language very well and I do not fear about them getting lost or not knowing what to do in case something happens. They’ve also been to London lots of times and they know the center very well.

That means that for the last days I’ve been trying to find different things to do than the normal visitor’s touristic stuff. I booked tables in restaurants that offer something slightly different, arranged a day trip outside the city and they will also meet some of my friends. I want them to see that I’m having a good time here, or let’s say a good life.

I know that it shouldn’t be like that and I’m slightly embarrassed to say that but I am still looking for their approval, maybe more now than before. I’ve reached a certain age that I’m leading my own life and to be honest it shouldn’t be like that, but I just can’t help it. I’ve spent the last two days driving my housemate crazy cleaning and tidying our place and stressing over minor things. I know that it’s going to be ok, but I deep down inside worry about it. I just know that my parents are not getting any younger and I will not have them around forever.

Tuesday, 24 November 2009

Can you learn new tricks to an old dog?
Should you try to teach him new tricks in the first place?
How easy is it?
Is it fair to expect from someone what he cannot possibly offer?

If you’ d ask me these questions in general, I would have said that experience taught me that it is very difficult for some things / people to change and that it is not fair to try to make someone change so that he will fill your needs or expectations.
However, I do believe that people ‘bend’ their behavior according to their other half and the people they associate. They might not change, but slightly modify their ‘patterns’.

OK, I know. I’m being too vague... Let’s take the example of A and B.
A is more sentimental and romantic. B, on the other hand is slightly more introvert, feels awkward when trying to express his feelings and sometimes seems distant. How can A ask of B to be more expressive, communicative and extrovert?

Another example…
A is very social and has a big circle of friends. He likes going out spending time with his mates in crowded places, dancing in bars and clubs. B on the other hand likes nights in. He loves to cook, cuddle and spend time watching DVD. Is this relationship doomed from the beginning?

How easy is it to find equilibrium in these situations? Is it possible to make these differences the reason that holds two people together? Do Opposites attract? Being one of the two opposites, can you sustain the pressure?

Is the common ground found enough?

Monday, 23 November 2009

In a way, it’s always fun never to be bored. On the other hand…

Moving into a new place can always be so much fun. Last week we received a ‘repossession notice’ letter. Apparently the former lodger owes to the council around £2000 from taxes. However, the very frightening letter was addressed to our new place mentioning that they can get into the apartment and repossess stuff to match the value owed, whether we are or aren’t inside! The fonts, size and bold letters used in the letter itself are indeed very intimidating! They make the word ‘repossession’ massive for the A4 paper size. Also, they try to emphasize the fact that they can get in the flat without us in it.
We called the number given on the letter to declare that the lodger has changed and to beg not to break our door and take stuff! I don’t even know if we have £2000 worth of stuff in the apartment to take. I was told that they are not allowed to take everything, like a bed or a chair so that the place is still habitable but I don’t want to take chances. It will not look that good to our new neighbors...
Anyway, we passed the whole thing to our landlord who promised to take care of it (hopefully in time). I’d hate to think that they will take our newly bought and used Christmas decoration…

That’s not the end of it of course. Our heating is not working. It stopped working on Friday evening and until we doubled checked, we couldn’t get anyone on the phone to help us. I tried a couple of things that actually didn’t work (I wonder why, since I do not have any experience on the matter). I try restarting it a couple of times (it works on PCs). I tried hitting it a bit (I saw Han Solo doing it on Millennium Falcon that afternoon). My final verdict is that the gas pressure is not good enough to ignite it again. I had less than 1 bar and I needed around 1.5 bars (damn you bars). So, we spent the whole weekend wearing sweaters and jackets in the house. Ok, I’m exaggerating, but yesterday evening was a bit cold…

So, instead of staying in and being cold we’ve decided to go to the movies. From the movies available, we went to see ‘2012’! If you haven’t seen it, I would recommend you NOT to go and see it. I like action movies, I enjoyed ‘The day after tomorrow’ a lot. So, I said that ‘2012’ is a movie to go and watch in a movie theatre for the visual and sound effects. However, the movie is bad. The plot is amazingly predictable, never ending and tedious. I expected the movie to be slightly silly but not that much.
I came across the following image related to the plot of the movie and to Earth destruction, so I'm sharing it with you since I found it quite funny:

Friday, 20 November 2009

Rambling Friday

-Technology is finally arriving our way. Since yesterday we have TV at my new place. YAY! For the time being we got ‘Freeview’. Later on we’ll see about different options, but for now our budget is tight and we wanted a fast solution. That means that I was in the very happy place to watch my favorite TV morning program: Auswitch, The Nazis and the Final Solution!! Honestly, who watches that at 8 in the morning? Is it going to make you all happy to face the day? Where could you be working to like morning programs like that? Not even in the local prison… So, I naturally switched to watch Lady GAGA talk about her ‘Bad Romance’ and Pikachu kick the ass of another Pokemon with silly name.
Hopefully, we’ll get our landline connection enabled today and I’ll be able to apply for broadband. Double YAY!

-Things start to look slightly grim at work. Since our clients are from the public sector, we are now having the aftermath of the recession. Their budget is cut even more which means much less income for us. People here (mostly the bosses) are being slightly grumpy about it (I’m being polite) which have an effect on our work. Also, that means that we are most likely not getting bonuses as accustomed at the end of November and there will not be none or minimal pay rise for next year. It is a bit irritating, since everybody else seems to be overcoming the crisis but anyway.

That made me think again about my career (my what?) and the different options I have. I’m thinking of getting some extra training and acquiring some extra certificates so that I’m prepared if everything goes really bad. The bad thing is that I have so many options at what to do that I’m confused. I can apply for e-learning, Open University, evening or weekend courses or just get some books and try to pass certificate exams. These of course are my options AFTER I’ve decided what exactly I want to learn (I know… minor detail).

-‘Essex Boy’ resurfaced as expected. I know I complained a bit about it (yes, just a bit) but you can’t blame me. He just appears and disappears randomly. He will reply to my text messages but will not contact me unless he wants and has the time to meet. I can now start to see the trend and expect what can be expected (which is not much for the time being to be honest). So, we met, went for a pint, then for Chinese dinner and ended at my place. We had fun and said that we might meet again on Sunday (fingers crossed). I will not of course sit idle waiting to see when he’s next available. I have dignity (some friends of mine can die laughing with that) and make my own plans. If I can and he’s available we’ll meet. Triple YAY...
I will not cancel my plans for him (again, I can hear laughter at the back of my head).

Tuesday, 17 November 2009


I moved to my new place three days ago and I already love it.
Moving day on Saturday was actually very eventful. We had severe weather conditions. There were very strong winds blowing and pouring rain at the same time. It made our lives more difficult but to be honest it was kind of fun as well (weird kind of fun). Apart from that the rental company gave as a van whose lights were not working, so had to go back and negotiate and argue, 10 minutes before closing time at noon. At some point we were sure that we would have to postpone moving.

Anyway, we managed to get the van, unload my housemate’s stuff, bring my stuff over and spend the rest of my Saturday tidying things up. My room looks nice at the moment, but to be honest I am not sure what I’ve put where. I have so many drawers and no bookshelves (yet). That means that all my books and comics (I have a lot) are in piles over them. My clothes are distributed in different places and I have to spend some minutes to find them… Eventually, I’ll get there…

The bad thing about moving places is setting it all up again. I have to chase and setup all utility bills. That of course includes the landline and internet connection. I’ve been living now for three days in a house without internet and TV and to be honest I feel isolated from the outside world, blinded. I really don’t know how we managed to cope before.

I remember the first time someone brought and connected to our family PC a dial-up modem (back then we only had one PC – now there’s more than one in each room). I think I was in high school. We didn’t know what to do with it (honestly). It was extremely slow, not many interesting websites existed and it felt like a waste of time not playing a game. Now, turning my laptop on is the first and last thing I do every day. I can’t not check the news, weather forecast and listen to the online radio before going to work.

It’s also sad but my personal life is affected by it as well. I can’t access my emails and my online dating sites! I can’t use IM or connect to my friends on facebook! I think I’m even missing people’s birthdays because of that.

I’ll have a landline on Friday. It takes them four working days! Four! I don’t even need a visit from an engineer. The previous tenant had the same company, so they just need to activate it again! Four days? That’s ridiculous!
After that, I have to go to apply for my broadband. I can’t do that without a landline. So, I’ll apply on Friday. I was told that will take up to eight days to be activated! Eight? What will I do until then? Should I learn smoke signals?

Speaking of signals, ‘Essex boy’ has kind of disappeared. Ok, not ‘kind of’, he disappeared. When we parted the Sunday before this, he said that he had a really nice time with me and he suggested meeting during the week and I agreed. I was the one texting him during the week every two or three days (not to be too overwhelming). He was replying to my messages but to be honest I wanted him to look for me too.

I invited him over on Saturday for dinner to my new place and he said he can’t and also added (in the same text) and he would be busy all day Sunday as well. The way he mentioned it in advance, before even me mentioning it, I didn’t like. Probably he will resurface and look for me, but I’m not going to try to contact him. The last time I contacted him was on Saturday and today it’s Tuesday. Maybe I’m overreacting (again) but I think that a text message every two days is not too much to ask for.

That sounds kind of desperate. I’m not heartbroken of course or anything, but without internet or ‘Essex Boy’ to play around, I feel a little bit bored. My leg hurts and I can’t even go running…

Friday, 13 November 2009

50 totally useless information regarding me, before my 50th post

My first thoughts were about modifying the layout of my template on my 50th post, but I didn't find time to spend on that. I want to do more research on the matter. So, I've decided to write down some stuff regarding me.
  1. I was born in 1981 in a small Greek Town. I’m a Pisces. I moved to London in summer 2006 and never regretted it.
  2. I do not like the texture of olives and tomatoes. I just do not eat them raw, unless chopped in really tiny pieces with other stuff. I like olive oil and tomato sauce though (weird – I know). The same can be applied for bananas as well, but I’ve been force feeding myself with them after I’ve started running.
  3. I stopped being in denial about being gay at the age of 22. I had numerous girlfriends until then. I consider my first proper sex experience to be at that age (no wonder I was edgy until then)
  4. I started having proper personal life (meeting new people, dating, having sex etc) after I came to London. Greece can be so conservative (forget about what you know about Mykonos or Athens, they do not apply for smaller communities)…
  5. I had a very happy childhood that I’m always grateful for. The four of us (parents + brother) used to travel a lot and spend quality time together.
  6. I am also very grateful knowing that my family will be there for me in case of any emergency.
  7. Having close family ties however means that my parents tend to mingle a lot with my life and the decisions I make.
  8. I used to play a lot with GI-JOE action figures, playmobil and LEGO. I especially loved LEGO Technic.
  9. My first video (or computer?) game I played was at a 16KB, 3.5 MHz Spectrum ZX. Yes, the one with the rubber buttons. My parents used to love playing and so did we
  10. I was electrocuted three times when I was a child (that explains a lot of things) and I’ve lived to tell the tale. I wouldn’t recommend it though.
  11. I’ve never broken one of my bones (knock on wood). I’ve cracked my collarbone though
  12. I can speak two languages apart from Greek. English (really) and French. My French have gone a bit rusty though
  13. I love spending time wandering around big supermarkets, browsing on products. I do the same at big bookstores or gadget / video game stores
  14. I am not a common gay person regarding fashion, reading trashy magazines and celebrity news. I don’t give a damn if Jordan (lovely British celeb in the very big boobs category) got divorced…
  15. I find it irritating that people like her (see No15) make headlines in serious (?) newspapers / TV news. The same applies for X-Factor
  16. I’ve been living without a TV set for 7 months now and I love it. I don’t miss it.
  17. I don’t watch reality TV (big brother, X-Factor etc.). After watching one series, I think it’s the same thing over and over again. Not having a TV set helps me on that
  18. I like watching cartoons
  19. My hobbies include reading (books and comics), listening to music, sports (gym or running), going to the theatre, having people over for dinner, going out
  20. I like going dancing even if I don’t think I’m very good at it. The same applies for singing
  21. I believe that true friendships last through time, even if two people lose contact for a period of time
  22. I would like to be able to find someone to settle down, start a family, get married, and maybe raise a child (who knows?) or two. I might be too romantic…
  23. I hate confrontations of any kind. That can be a bad thing because sometimes I miss chances, opportunities to even defend what is mine. Once I got into a fight at primary school. I wasn’t able to return a single punch. My opponent got so angry at my passiveness that fled crying with frustration. I was considered the winner by my classmates
  24. I do believe in luck. Some things sometimes are meant to be and pushed by luck. I am not a fatalist though. I believe that you have to help yourself and not wait for luck or fate to define your actions
  25. I cannot easily take pills. Seriously, I choke. I prefer soluble drugs. I have to literally throw a pill down my throat. I might have to do something about it as I grow older though
  26. I like having sex outdoors. I am not an exhibitionist (much). I don’t want to be seen. I would like, for example, to have sex on a beach, close to the water, listening to the waves on a warm summer night.
  27. I am a total coffee junkie. I can have many a day. I just love the smell of it as well
  28. I cannot easily pronounce the difference between words like beach - bitch, sit - shit - sheet, sip - sheep - ship etc. I just hope the person who I am talking to will understand what I’m saying from the rest of the sentence.
  29. I think that I am partially colour blind. I was never properly tested, but I find it sometimes difficult to distinguish colours. I’ve found online some tests (the one with the bubbles and the numbers) and I didn’t do well. I blamed the monitor settings
  30. I do not have any piercings or tattoos. I do like some of the tattoos I see on other people though. I find them sexy. It did cross my mind to get a tattoo done though. I was thinking of having an olive tree branch done (because I don’t like eating them, it doesn’t mean I don’t like looking at them). I like what an olive tree branch symbolises.
  31. I have never tried (and probably never will) serious drugs. I’ve smoked pot a few times in the past but that’s it. I also don’t smoke.
  32. I like junk food. I know how unhealthy it is but I just don’t care. I don’t have it often though. I just like to feel naughty and treat myself once in a while. I love French fries / potato wedges and all the rest, especially with mayonnaise.
  33. I have a thing for people with shaved heads. I also quite like people that are slightly older than me, hairy, dark coloured and slightly big. It is weird but I always first notice the guy in a red t-shirt / jumper. All these are of course not written on stone.
  34. I admire integrity in a person and I find grounded confidence very appealing. If you add to that a good sense of humor, a cute face and a caring heart I can go nuts…
  35. People that know they are good looking (showing it around) and take themselves too seriously are a total turn off.
  36. I can have feta cheese with almost everything. I also love sea food
  37. My sense of smell is not that good. I never remember fragrances and I find it difficult to distinguish some
  38. I never thought I would, but I started enjoying sports (running, tennis, gym). I think I'm losing my geekiness...
  39. I don’t like being cuddled when trying to fall asleep. It makes me nervous and restrained.
  40. I generally prefer savoury than sweets (especially when it comes to crepes). I’d prefer having a nice ham and cheese sandwich than a chocolate bar if I’m hungry
  41. I like to feel like I’m in control of my actions. I simply hate the fact of being pushed to do something I don’t want to or losing that control. That is the reason I never did drugs, got ridiculously drunk or I would never be a good player in restraining games. Once some friends tried to force me into drinking some shots by holding my nose shut and opening my mouth and I lost my temper.
  42. My favorite cuisines are Greek (for obvious reasons), Italian and Oriental (Chinese, Thai, Vietnamese, Japanese)
  43. I don’t normally like watching drama on TV or cinema. I think that our lives can be complicated enough to make ourselves feel sad for other fake characters or stories. I like action, romantic comedies, musicals and animated movies.
  44. I like the idea that I don’t own very expensive stuff like a car or a house. It makes me feel more independent. I can pack and move tomorrow to the other end of the world if I wanted to (at least in theory I can)
  45. I like routine and tidiness in certain aspects of my life. For example I like taking the same route to work every day. I like placing objects in my pockets the same way each time. I like making lists of things I have to do. My world will not collapse if things turn out differently, but still… My room is always tidy, even with dust all around
  46. I don’t raise the volume of my voice and I don’t argue with people (see 24 as well). You can count the people I’ve argued with, on the fingers of one hand. When that does happen however, when someone actually pushes me that far, I can be quite fierce and loud
  47. I tend to break up with people in a civilized way. Apart from some very few occasions, I am in speaking terms with most of the people I’ve dated and we tend to still be in touch.
  48. I am pretty social having a circle of good friends. I don’t like being the centre of attention though and I am not the soul of a party.
  49. I am a pacifist but was made a sergeant in the Greek Army (mandatory military service). I’ve fired with a gun, a rifle, a small rocket launcher and I’ve thrown a grenade.
  50. I hate the fact that I will have second thoughts on what I’ve written on this list. Most likely I will remember stuff late…

Wednesday, 11 November 2009

Feeling good…

I got the keys to my new apartment! I’m moving probably this Saturday there and to be honest I can’t wait! I’ve posted the issues I’ve been having with my current arrangement so you know why. My new flat feels like more of a proper home. I will be living with one of my best friends in a decent size, double bedroom and two bathrooms flat that is also close to work. What more to ask?

Maybe I could ask for something (being greedy as always). I would like to be able to put my finger on my nose, move it a bit, do magic and make all my stuff and furniture move and also the bills and internet sorted! That means that I need magical powers for some days. No? Oh, well… I had to try…

I really don’t how we managed to survive without internet connection during the Dark Ages (10 years ago?). Hopefully, I might find some kind of unsecured wireless to secretly use for the days until I get connected…

Speaking of internet, I did my research on self-harm and I now know a couple of things more on the subject. I’ve decided not to let it bother me at all and keep on what I was doing before. I will keep on seeing ‘Essex Boy’ and try to get to know him more. I will just keep an eye on the marks…

Now, it’s time I went back to keep on packing! Do I sound excited? (No, I am not…)

Monday, 9 November 2009

Uncharted territory…

I had a very nice weekend that left me at the end feeling very worried at the end, but first thing first…

I had a scheduled 10k run yesterday. I spent the day before relatively taking it easy and wandering around in my area… That’s a couple of pictures I took with my mobile that day (I don’t think I have a talent in photography):

Relaxing time having breakfast (guy in red hoodie was really hot):
Wandering around West London:

My first Christmas sign of the year (way too early if you ask me)

The race took place in Richmond and it went well (?). It was not for charity, but we applied for it so that we could keep us motivated and training for the upcoming half marathon. There was no train service to the area and most people (like us) found it difficult to get there. That caused massive queues at the lockers and the chip (time measuring device) giving booths at the last minute before the race. Not having enough personnel was not very helpful either. It was a bit frustrating and it got even worse when the race began with lots of people (including us) still in a queue!!!! That made us start running after checking in our bags with absolutely no warming up at 4 (freezing) degrees! I was really feeling bad for the first couple of kilometers, cold and out of breath. I managed to keep up and finish in around an hour. I wanted to finish the race in less time but considering the circumstances I don’t want to complain. The area that we covered was really nice though.

People queuing:

I spent the rest of my Sunday with ‘Essex Boy’. I had a very nice time. We enjoyed each other company and I believe that it is going quite well. He is very cute, caring, has a weird sense of humor that I like and I think that I can feel relaxed and as myself around him. (Not to mention sex is hot).

The thing that got me really worried is that he is one of the people that inflict pain on him. I don’t know the correct terminology or how to put it correctly. I feel a bit weird even writing about it. He has cut marks and burn marks on his arm (at least not many – but how many are TOO many). I of course asked him about it in a curious, laughing about it way, because I didn’t want to sound judgmental. I met him only a couple of times and I am in no position to make any serious comments on it. He told me that the last time he did something like that it was over six months ago (true according to the marks). He then asked me if he is the first person I met doing it and I said yes. I have totally no experience on the matter and it is freaking me out a bit. I will google it and see what I can find. Am I overreacting or not? I will try to talk to him about it again and truthfully ask him how worried I should be. I don’t know what answer I’ll get though….

Please, any comments would be appreciated.

Friday, 6 November 2009

Rambling about various things…

I’m reaching my 50th post soon (probably in a week or so) and I was thinking that I should do something with the template of my blog. I know that 50 posts are nothing compared to others, but to be honest, I’m pretty happy that I’ve stick to it so far and I want to keep on blogging. It was an experiment that for the time being is on its 4th month and going well. It’s a bit of a disgrace to keep a premade template by ‘blogger’ instead of creating something of my own. That needs some searching though to check what options I have, that I do not know if I have to time to do. What I’m thinking at the moment is to play around with Photoshop and some pictures I have. We’ll see…

If you’re running a blog of your own, are you using a template you found online for free, ordered online, created on your own, based on an existing free one and modified it according to your needs?

I spoke to the ‘Essex Boy’ yesterday. I was in doubt whether to contact him or not. You know how it is. I didn’t want to sound desperate (contacting him too early) or indifferent (too late). The last time I texted him, was after leaving his place, on Wednesday really early in the morning. I thought that it was over a 36h period, so I did (and I’m happy I did). I sent him something a bit vague and general (how are you? I’m ok kind of thing). It took him a while to reply (if he did that on purpose he’s good) that got me a bit worried at first. But he suggested meeting this weekend (woohoo).

I’m doing a run this Sunday really early in the morning so I can’t really go out on Saturday, so I suggested meeting on Sunday in the afternoon / evening. He then suggested going to ‘National Gallery’ that was a bit surprising because (a) I find it going there a bit romantic (maybe that’s just me), (b) I thought he would suggest going somewhere for a beer or (c) meet somewhere that we’ll be alone together. Ok, I confess that this is probably not very kind of me, but you might give me some credit if you knew many people from Essex. Anyway, I’m happy we’re meeting anyhow and I will not say another word for it.

So, on Sunday morning I’m doing a 10k run in Richmond. It’s supposed to be a fun day because I’m going there with friends also doing the run and moreover I know about some people that are coming to cheer for us defying the cold and probably the rain. Yes, it will most likely be freezing (to go running in shorts) at 9 in the morning on Sunday (they say about 7 – 8 degrees) at least at the beginning and raining (typical for London in November). I also found out today that the tube line servicing the area will not operate on Sunday for scheduled construction works so it will probably take us a while to get there. Thinking about all these, I am not sure our friends will come to cheer for us…

Thursday, 5 November 2009


Someone today tweeted about a web page called People of Walmart. There is no Walmart in London which is probably a VERY good thing. Some of the pictures are really hilarious.

Then I came across this and I stopped laughing:


Wednesday, 4 November 2009

OK, that was really good.

I went on a date yesterday with the ‘Essex Boy’ (he’s new). OK, I know what you’re going to think because he’s from Essex, but I would like to defend him and say that he’s not like that (totally). OK, one of his favorite pastimes, which he also described as a hobby, is drinking (expected). He doesn’t wear golden jewelry though (he doesn’t even have a golden tooth – and they ARE so sexy) (I’m kidding)…

Anyway, it all started a couple of weeks ago. He left me a message on my online profile and I got back to him after that, so we started talking for a couple of days. When I suggested meeting for a pint he said that he would rather chat a little bit more before that. I found that VERY weird because it was the first time being rejected to meet but agreed to keep on exchanging messages. I never thought we would actually meet but kept on replying to his messages as normal.

I think two more weeks went by and at some point he suggested meeting. I asked him why he changed his mind and he said that he is doing a strict selection with whom he’s going out with and I seemed like a nice guy (nice to hear – don’t know if it’s true). We exchanged mobile phone numbers and started talking through text messages and on the phone. I was still unsure about whether we would actually meet and I was being very casual and teasing when talking to him.

Example of our txt messages conversation:
He: What is your profile name? I can’t seem to find it. Is it hidden?
Me: It’s ***. No, don’t think it’s hidden. I updated it recently though and it might be invisible. Why? Are you showing me around?
He: Oh, yeah. Found it. No, I just wanted something to laugh at
Me: Glad to be of help
He: I was only teasing. :-)
Me: Is that guilt I hear? I didn’t know you had this emotion. I know you were teasing

This in general is not the typical kind of conversation I’d have with someone I haven’t even met. I liked though the fact that he was being a smartass (in a good way) and witty so I decided to go out with him and to be honest I haven’t regretted it.

We met in a pub and we had a couple of pints. Because I was getting tipsy (and I was trying to be clever with rule number 8 of dating) we went for me to grab a bite (he already had dinner) and headed off to another pub where I had some vodka drinks (VERY clever, I know).

In a nutshell I found him a very interesting but a bit weird person (in a slightly good way). He listens to indie / rock music and pop from the 80’s (good). When he was a child he wanted to be a Vampire (??) and of course likes watching horror movies. He likes opera and ballet but doesn’t like theatre and musicals. He likes the image of Jesus for decorative reasons (without being religious). Works in sales and marketing department of a company he hates, but would like to get involved into counseling. And don’t get me started on the decoration of his house. In general the conversation was running smoothly with only very few moments of silence.

Speaking of decoration, yes he invited me over to spend the night and I agreed. By that time, after the vodka I had, I was making fun of him about how I might wake up in a bathtub filled with ice and missing a kidney. The alcohol I consumed however helped me agreed on going along (don’t call me a slut) but to be honest it was totally a conscious choice.

We ended up at his place around midnight and we had our share of fun. He is quite passionate and tender and we clicked very well (at least that is what I think). The only problem I have (as usual) is the sleeping part. As I think I’ve mentioned in the past I cannot be touched / cuddled, relax and fall asleep. I need my space and be left alone. I generally get very warm and if someone holds me as well I feel trapped (not pleasant), worried that I shouldn’t move not to disturb them. However, I do find it very impolite to simply turn my back, ignore the other person and try to fall asleep, so I try to play along at least for a while. Added to that the foreign environment (not to mention the foreign snoring person) I didn’t sleep much last night…

Anyway, I am not complaining though… I had fun and I do hope to meet the ‘Essex Boy’ again. I’ll just try now not to think about it much (yeah right)…

Tuesday, 3 November 2009

Pocket guide to dating

These are just a few things I’ve learnt during my dating experiences.

  • Most important of all: Be yourself. Don’t try to impress with stories that are untrue or exaggerated. It will not work
  • If you can select the place to meet, pick a place that is rather quiet and comfy, so you can talk without being disturbed by loud noises or crowds.
  • Wear something that will make you look good but also comfortable. Too tight clothes might make you look slimmer / better looking but might make you feel too self-conscious.
  • Try to have a snack before a date so that you’re not starving and be prone to getting tipsy too quickly if alcohol is included. If you eat too much you will feel bloated and unsexy.
  • If you don’t know where you will be going try to wear something casual that can be acceptable in most places. If you do know, where something appropriate.
  • Try to look as confident as possible and most of the times smiling. Also try looking your date in the eyes (not staring for too long – that’s just creepy).
  • Don’t ever talk about former relationships and how or if you’ve been hurt in the past. Ever… In the extreme case of being asked, try not to look too distressed and change the conversation topic politely by giving some but not too much information.
  • Don’t get drunk (unless your date is getting drunk as well)… I will not even mention drugs.
  • If possible touching your date (not inappropriately - at least at the beginning of the evening / night) is always good. For example if your date says something funny while laughing or when you let him / her first through a door.
  • Finally try to enjoy and relax the whole procedure. Even if you do feel a bit nervous, you are not (in most cases) the only one feeling like that. You are doing this to have a good time. Most likely you’ll feel at ease after a brief period of time.

These guidelines are of course too generic and do not apply in all cases. Also, some rules are meant to be broken. Some dates seem doomed from the beginning and there is no need trying to save them. Everybody has some awful / funny stories to say when it comes to dating. I have a few to say as well.

I just hope my today’s date will not go as bad…

Monday, 2 November 2009

Get in touch with my geek side (part 2)…

Apart from reading comic books I’ve also spent lots of hours playing video games this weekend. I used to love playing PC games when I was younger. I could spent hours doing it and also lose sleep thinking about it. I never really liked first person shooters, simulations, racing or sports games. I’ve spent some time playing adventure games like ‘Monkey Island’ but I can’t say that I’m an expert of the genre.
What I’ve always had a soft spot for strategy games (Starcraft, SimCity, Civilisation, Heroes of Might and Magic, Red Alert etc), platform / action games (Pirates, Wing Commander, Doom) and most of all Role Playing Games.

I believe that one of the very first RPG games I’ve played was Dungeon Master. I really loved it and I do believe I’ve spent ages playing it. Thinking back, there are some fantasy RPG games that come into my mind first like: Eye of the Beholder, Anvil of Dawn, StoneKeep, Baldur’s Gate, the Elder Scrolls series, Lands of Lore (the first one), Gothic, Neverwinter Nights and Might & Magic (especially 6 and 7).

I’ve also enjoyed playing games not falling entirely in that category like Fallout (loved it), Diablo (loved it as well), Knights of the Old Republic, Vampire: the masquerade, Fable, Titan Quest or Sacred. I’m a bit old fashioned when it comes to rpg games but I don’t believe that games like ‘Zelda’ or ‘Final Fantasy’ or even ‘Diablo’ are entirely rpg games. They are very linear and too action oriented. Ok, you may select and develop a character but it’s not the same. Would you ever think that 'The Sims' is RPG?

I’ve also never liked online RPG games like ‘World of Warcraft’. I’ve tried it for a couple of months but it didn’t have the same effect and I didn’t get hooked. I found it a bit weird having to depend so much on other players to do stuff and I did run into some very annoying (probably younger) players. Also, there is a philosophy of using cheats, reaching your goal of increasing levels by any means necessary that I didn’t like. I can see though why it would be appealing to other people (but not me)

Unfortunately, lately (it’s been almost two years) I stopped playing PC games. Working in an IT company makes me stay in front of a PC screen for way too long and I now spend many hours outdoors. Also, my latest laptop that I purchased in a hurry, after my old one was stolen, doesn’t support new games because I got it quite cheap. That means that the latest game that I did enjoy was Oblivion in my old laptop.

This weekend however, I stayed and played a bit on my PSP I got for the many hours I spend travelling. I didn’t use it at home either. I played a silly manga look-alike RPG game called Popolocrois (that I finished this weekend). I must say that it was enjoyable, quite big and cute. I don’t think you can find proper RPG games in PSP and that was close enough.

That got me thinking that I might need to get a new desktop because I really want to check Fallout 3 and with Diablo 3 and Startcraft 2 (eventually) coming…

Many may disagree with what I’m saying and I’m probably forgetting lots of amazing games, but these are the games that come into my mind at the moment and the things I believe on that matter.

Get in touch with my geek side (part 1)…

It’s been ages since I’ve done it, but I spent a fairly lazy weekend (excluding Saturday night) doing stuff I’ve never done in ages. First of all I went through some older comic books I have. I’ve been reading comics (especially from Marvel) since I was a boy in primary school. I can still remember the excitement I got before every scheduled trip to a near city from where I used to live, that had a comic bookstore. I think that you can still ask a couple of my then classmates and they would remember how I used to go on and on about it…

I’ve always loved comic books that had more than one main characters in them so that I could check how they would interact and evolve. That is why I used to read the X-series of Marvel and JLA. Occasionally I would buy titles like Spiderman, Daredevil, Batman or Spawn but X-Men and everything related was my favorite. I used to think that comic books with always the same characters would eventually repeat themselves and be boring. I didn’t even buy Fantastic Four for the same reason. Don’t get me wrong but it’s a matter of taste…

I read somewhere (I think) about how the secret lives of superheroes appeal to young gay men that hide their sexuality like having a second life. I don’t know if it’s true but I really loved my comic books when my mother hated them. She didn’t like me spending so much time (and money) reading them and she always argue on how I should be reading ‘normal’ books that would actually teach me something (according to her). That is why I used to hide them from her but she always managed to find them and throw them away. I think that I lost some amazing copies that way that I’d pay a fortune now to buy again…

However, I do have comics to thank for so many things. Primarily, I do believe that without them I wouldn’t get so much into reading and learning English. Comics and Computer Games are the main reason that I had to study harder in learning English so that I would understand what was going on in the plot.

Now, I don’t get that excited (losing my sleep) when going to buy my new comic books as I used to (sad but true), but I really do love browsing through them before choosing what to buy. I also tend now to buy Graphic Novels or whole Albums that I didn’t used to before because I simply couldn’t afford them.