Going to university in a different city made me lose most of my acquaintances from school. However, I tried to stay in touch with the closest and dearest friends from my hometown. You can count them in the fingers of one hand but I don’t mind. Even 15 years since then, we still get together and catch up. That same trend I kept through my university years. I made new friends, managed to keep the old ones and after my graduation, as normal, I moved on.
Now, I live in London. The friends I made since my postgraduate studies in the city have left. This time I was the one who stayed here and settled down and they simply left. Internet, in the forms of Facebook, whatsapp or skype, helps me maintain a connection with them. Through these years I can proudly say that I have an amazing friendship with a handful of people from my hometown and university years, both from Greece and UK. One of my closest friends is my very first girlfriend from when I was 11! She lives in Athens though and I seldom see her in person.
It’s not about quantity, it’s about quality. I know. What I’m saying though is that, in case I threw a friends gathering three years ago more than 2 dozens of people would arrive, now I can’t see a third of that amount showing up. That does sound a bit sad. I’m not a sad person though. I have created some new friends in London who I began to love but I’m greedy, I need some more. I’ve finished with being a full time student and I don’t plan to move away again. That means that another big change in my life is on going to happen soon. I’d like to start making a proper circle of friends and acquaintances here. That of course needs some time as well.
What I believe I should find is another gay couple to hang around with ‘JJ’. We have the fun of our lives when we’re together, I’m not complaining. However, I think that it would be nice if we have another gay couple to do things with them. The vast majority of the few gay friends I have are not in a relationship and they mostly go out to get hitched with someone. Even most of my straight close friends are single now that I think about it! Why is that?
Anyway, I’m closing this post with some photos I took over the weekend. The weather was crispy but sunny and we managed to walk around central London and Wimbledon. I was again reminded why I like this city so much:
walking around in crispy weather in St. James' Park
The local tram
posh grocery shopping in Wimbledon
the Wimbledon Library's brilliant outside wall
PS. You can enlarge the photos by clicking on them. Also, I've addded a small poll on the right. If you'd like to reply, I'd really appreciate it.
There comes a time when you realise you are different from your friends. The married straights , and I do even include those quality friends, find a different path one that's all about children, and friends with children and children's parties. Leaving us excluded. Then making new friends is no little effort! How to, how to....
ReplyDeleteahoj
I know eactly what you mean - my best friend has been my best friend for 20 years and I too have a small circle of very good friends alongside a group of friends who are in a state of flux. Well, it will keep the numbers down at the civil partnership! I agree that having another couple to socialise with will help. Fella and I are fortunate in that our circle of gay friends includes a range from a couple of couples to young-free-and-single types. Cross fingers you and JJ will grow a group of friends like that...
ReplyDeletePS like the new template :-)
I too, know exactly what you're talking about. It certainly takes a bit of getting used to, but as times goes by I'm sure you will. As for finding another gay couple to hang out with, I wish you the best of luck. Jim and I have been searching for another 'normal' gay couple to befriends with and it's been a tough search. :-)
ReplyDelete@MadeInScotland I know that will happen. Not many of my friends are having babies yet but I think we're getting there.
ReplyDelete@Mike Thanks for the template comment. We will be fine. We will find new people to socialise. Hopefully, no more big changes will happen soon and I'll settle down here even better.
@AJohnP lol... I love the 'normal' comment. I completely agree. :-)
I completely understand. We long for couple friends that we just can't find. It's so difficult to make new friends as an adult, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteIt's sad, so many of us have this problem and longing, yet we are not very good at connecting to each other as we wish.
ReplyDeleteYep. I've noticed that the "texture" of my friendships has changed over time. I rarely chat with my best friend from college -- he and his wife adopted a baby, and the most I've done is left a "congrats!" message on facebook. We exchange gifts every Christmas, however. It's funny how you cling to little things like that.
ReplyDeleteI have more friends than my boyfriend does. He's weirded out by the number of people I know. I only have a few "close" friends though. For that matter, what do you label "online" friends, that you've known for years, but met only once?
This is a problem (benefit?) with becoming a "couple". It is almost a necessity that our interactions with our friends change. It certainly has happened to me too. Knowing that it is normal and dealing with it rather than resisting it helps in the long run. Maybe someday your single friends will end up in relationships and you & JJ and your newly-coupled friends can kindle a new kind of friendship.
ReplyDeletenice post. many of us are facing this problem indeed, I guess more so in a city like London. And in a twisted kind of way it's nice to know that you are not the only one.
ReplyDelete@www.DiatibesAndOvations.com Yes, I can't go to people and ask them 'if they want to play with me?'. It would be fun though! :-)
ReplyDelete@Ur-Spo At least technology / internet is helping us maintain long distance relationships easier!
@Gauss_Jordan I don't know. Sometimes it's easier to share stuff with your online friends. That'd mean that they are not simply acquaintances but something more.
@Ordinary Londoner. Thanks for the comment. I totally agree with you.
ReplyDeleteSnap. We have so few gay friends, let alone a gay couple to hang out with, that at our civil partnership one gay friend came up and said, "Am I the token gay among the guests?" He wasn't quite, because there was one other gay man among the guests. But it goes to show...
ReplyDeleteOne dimension of our problem (if it *is* a problem, since we don't think about it that much) is that 30 years ago I deliberately withdrew from the gay scene, reckoning we needed to work on the relationship away from the temptations and potential misunderstandings of the gay scene. We kept a handful of gay friends, but most of those have fallen away, The upshot is that we are now in our sixties with only two or three gay friends we see regularly. I am occasionally prey to the thought that it would be nice to have another gay couple to hang out with, but only, as I said, occasionally. We see plenty of other people, despite their being straight.
@Paul Brownsey No, I don;t think it's a problem. I'm not too keen on the gay scene as well. However, as I was saying it would be fun to have another gay couple to hang out with
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