I told however ‘JJ’.
A couple of months ago I met a fellow blogger (I haven’t spoken to him in ages, I hope he’s on vacation somewhere nice or something) and I was supposed to meet another (which unfortunately I didn’t). During that period I was already dating ‘JJ’ for 6 months and I never mentioned the blog to him. Don’t ask me why. I do not know. It’s not like I posted something about him that I wanted to hide, or that I am not open to him about my past experiences.
So, at some point, I told him that I have a confession to make. His first reaction was to get really worried as he normally does but when I told him that I write a blog he was relieved but curious about it. He asked me why I write it. I told him that it’s an online journal where I chat and “meet” fellow bloggers. He had a list of questions to ask me like if it is anonymous, if I write about him, if I have too many followers, how long I’ve been doing it etc. I tried to answer to his questions honestly and I could see that he was relieved that the blog is anonymous without a million of followers!
The next step of conversation was about whether he should read it or not. I had decided to tell him about the blog but I hadn’t really decided about whether I should give to him the URL or not. I wanted to see his reaction first. I could see that he was very curious about it. There was that sparkle in his eyes that he gets when he wants to be mischievous. It would be like opening my drawers and going through my stuff to look for hidden ‘treasures’.
After debating about it with himself for a while he decided that this expression of my feelings should be private. He believed that if I knew that he might be reading, I would write about things differently, even unconsciously, ruining the whole experience. So, on his own, he told me that he doesn’t want to read my blog but he’s happy that I told him about it. Sometimes I can’t help but think how fortunate I am I found him. I really don’t know what other bloggers have done…
I think it's better that he knows.
ReplyDeleteI didn't tell my husband Greg about my blog until I was about 2 months into it. I didn't want him influencing me with regards to style or content. After I told him about it he read a few posts but couldn't understand why I bothered, and he hasn't read since. Oh well, some people just don't get it.
my boyfriend knows i write a blog. But does not know where. I used to have another one, it went on for about 3 years, but after he started reading it I realised i started writing differently. To this day my blogs are never quite the same becuase I know he knows I have another and I'm always worried he will find it. I think, that its ok to have some things to yourself. I wont ever let him read again.
ReplyDelete@Cubby Yes, probably you're right. Some people just don't get it. It's a very good thing that you have his approval in a sense... :-)
ReplyDelete@Wozzel I don't think you cann't not be influenced on the way you write.
A blog is a personal thing - it's your choice what you decide to do with ot or whom you want to tell.....but if your relationship is getting serious - it's probably the right thing to do...
ReplyDelete@SteveA A blog is a personal thing, however it's a part of me that I'd like to share with my other half. Especially when I started meeting some fellow bloggers, I didn't want to lie or anything...
ReplyDeleteXfe doesn't really pay attention which surprises me. Even when he is abroad and could see what I am up to...maybe he prefers I have the freedom to blog what takes my fancy...
ReplyDeleteahoj
@MadeInScotland How can you be sure that he is not secretly checking your blog out? Just because he doesn't comment? :-p
ReplyDeleteMaybe he trusts you.
I don't understand the "secret" blog thing. It just demonstrates that you manipulate information (lie) in real life. Which I suppose we all do to some extent, I mean I don't discuss bowel movements with grandma (well I do, but most probably don't lol) but I write about pretty much everything that I would talk about to your face on the blog.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I manipulate everything. Blogging is not a diary. Its a place to vent. To write. To be creative. To express. To elaborate. To over exaggerate.
ReplyDeleteI do it all the time.
Since I am writing about real people and real situations, it wouldn't feel right to do it without them knowing / their permission.
ReplyDeleteSince you can't really do that every time, I think that it is safer to keep my blog anonymous, at least for now...
@Wozzel I agree with you. A blog is not just a diary, it can be more.
ReplyDelete