Wednesday, 2 June 2010

I have to mention this…

OK, I have to try so that I will not sound too corny. However, I want to mention that I’m having my six month anniversary today with ‘JJ’. I know that 6 months is not long, especially compared to married couples of years (I really don’t know how they do it). It’s simply two seasons. We had snow when I met him and now we have… er… some sunlight (at least today)… although the temperatures are not that different.

According to Gauss_Jordan suggested rules any relationship of more than 6 months is serious enough to be mentioned to parents. (at least I think it was him who mentioned that – if not I do apologise). I can’t however go there. I still haven’t told them that I was dating. We are still in the process of them realizing and accepting the fact that I’m gay. We’ll eventually get there. I’ve decided not to mention anything to them until they are comfortable enough to start asking me stuff first. My friend ‘gb’ suggested that I could simply traumatize them to overcome their denial phase. He mentioned things like blowjobs, jockstraps and rugby players which of course I will not mention.

However, a committed relationship like this one is a first for me. When I was dating girls I never had this kind of closeness that I share with JJ. My longest relationship was for almost 3 years with a classmate when I was 16 to 18 (a lifetime ago)! We were still staying with our parents, going to school and studying for our exams to get into university. I had a couple more relationships that lasted for 6 months to 18 months until I was 21 when I’ve finally decided I had to change sides and hide no longer.

Some of you might remember how surprised I was to find that JJ left his toothbrush in my place. This kind of everyday experiences are really a first for me. Unfortunately for him however coming from an eight year relationship, he has to struggle not to make me feel uncomfortable, overwhelmed or even suffocated by him coming onto me too fast or too strong. Fortunately he can understand that. He can see that I need my time and space from time to time. After spending a series of days with him I have the need to go to my place, my room and simply relax. That might make me sound as a bad, ungrateful person, but it is the way I feel, I can’t help it. I’ve learnt to live on my own, rely only on my abilities for too long, to let easily someone in and change that.

Anyway, what I wanted to say is that I truly feel grateful for the last 6 months, even if it is not that long. I bought him a nice shirt from Hollister and some flip flops for our summer vacations (I can’t wait). We’ll go to the Italian restaurant we went the first time we met, early December. Although it is a very nice place, we simply haven’t been there since. I just hope we’ll be doing that every six months for years to come… (ok, I do sound corny)

(I now have to find what to write on his card – I am so not good at this)


  1. Hi! I'm so glad you've reached this sin month mark. It's great how lovvely your are finding your relationship. I qas in exactly the same boat before I too "changed sides". I have to say, after a year, it's even better still so I know you have a lot more to look forward to :-)


  2. Hi - I am now 3 years into mine and it functions well because I have a lot of space. Remember to "breathe" and keep an open mind. Six months is great and it's the best feeling in the world to have someone to share all your experiences with!

  3. @Mike Thanks for that.

    @SteveA The 'keep an open mind' comment made me wonder a bit. We'll see how it goes and let you know.

  4. Card note ''write whatever you feel - the reason you are so excited about your first six months''.
    And I hope that you will reach years with him.. you Do seem like to love him a lot!

  5. until i met my current partner, i needed lots of "me" time and space away from whomever i was dating.

    now i cannot spend enough time with my husband.

    congrats on the six month mark!

  6. Happy happy. Is there something ike with dogs, that 6 months in straight years is... 7 years (I dunno...)!

    Have a happy time


  7. @Misiu Thanks... :-)

    @bigislandjeepguy thanks. I don't know. For the time being I love being with JJ but I also like to keep on doing some things I used to do before I met him: stay in and read a book, go for a run alone, chat with friends etc...

    @MadeInScotland Could be... I'm not very good at maths... :-)

  8. Aww. :-) It probably wasn't me, but that sounds like a good rule of thumb. ;-)